How old was everyone when they found out they had ADD/ADHD?

[Mssphoto]

I was 48 and wish I had been tested earlier in life...I feel like I have missed out on so much.

[Melissa Raines]

I was diagnosed when I was in first grade , but didn't really understand my ADD until I was in middle school .

[Rita Elliott]

18

[TV]

54, life has been wasted on me.

[Mssphoto]

Do not feel that way..I found out when I was 48 and it is the best thing I could have found out. This has answered many questions of my past experiences and actions and given me the ability to do things I never thought or knew I could do.

I feel like you at times, but I feel being older I was able to grip it easier. We cannot change the past--we only have to go forward.

Why do you feel that your life has been wasted?

[TV]

Well, Mssphoto, don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm just reflecting on 45 straight years (!) of unhappiness, broken marriages, lost friendships and family relationships, failure at education and changes of jobs, unfulfilled potential, etc., etc., etc.. Some of it can be repaired and recovered and that I will work on, especially my present marriage. I am looking forward to that possibility of success, but I am also at a point where I am kind of reflecting and "mourning" the losses. I feel a great deal of guilt for past actions. I can probably recognise that ADD has shaped the person that I am and the behaviours I display, but nobody else but me is responsible for my life story thus far.

Maybe I should have said, "So far, life has been wasted on me, but that is going to change."

[Michelle MacGregor]

TV, I just want to put a spin on this for you that might just help you a little bit to go a tiny teeny bit easier on yourself. Oh, and I by no means want to dismiss or lessen the need to mourn and the deep pain and loss that go with this disorder, especially if it is undiagnosed for much of your life....so here is my spin....imagine just for a bit that you were born with no toes on one foot (this happens, so I mean do disrespect)...anyway, so you have no toes, but because you are self conscious, you hide it, so virtually no one knows about this. You also live in a world that requires toes for virtually everythiing. Many, many people deny that missing toes is a disability and expect you to "man up" and just run the way everyone else does.

You spend your entire life making elaborate accommodations just to keep up...no one ever tells you that there are other medical ways to adapt and that yes, you do have to work fifteen times as hard as everyone to run.....

Would you beat yourself up? Would you blame yourself because you couldn't keep up? Would you then, when you are told that there are shoes you can wear or inserts you can put in your shoes that will allow you to not only run as fast as the others and do all of the physical things, but also to use all of your adaptive skills and strength, energy and resilience, give up or give yourself a huge pat on the back for just getting to where you are?

ADD/ADHD is a brain based/physical disorder. Some people adapt better than others based on many different factors, but guilt, shame and blame should not be something that you now use to describe your experiences. You were undiagnosed, your mental health and well being, which is everything, were negatively affected by a disorder of the most important organ in the body...your brain.

So, I get the undiagnosed pain and loss and despair....but I want to tell you that going forward - even at "your age" will bring bigger and better things for you. That if you can find tested ways to support yourself and your marriage, even if it includes medication, then you will be better going forward, even if just a little bit.

Take care of yourself and go through the stages of grief, and then know that it does get better! It really can!

[Mssphoto]

I here where you are coming from. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of the things I did wrong in my life and who I hurt and why it was tough on me going through school. I have lost many freindships and my parents support, but, I know I cannot change the past so I have to try and now not make the mistakes I did it the past. There are many good books out there, especially Bryan's book One Boy's Struggle that will be of help to you. I would read the book and go so that is why I used to do that? It really did help me and I had fun reading because I felt like I had written the book. It was nice to know that other people went through the same things I did...this network here is just great and I feel when I am having a bad day or looking for some info or companonship her is where I come to because I know here everyone will understand what I am talking about.
Good Luck on your new Journey.

[LateAgain]

39yrs old.

[Mike B]

That is such a good question!

I personally found out when I was 29, 6 months before my 30th when I realized something major was going on with me and always had been. This was a little over a year ago when I started seeing a counselor. (I haven't actually been 'officially' diagnosed by a psychiatrist with DSM-IV guidelines but my counselor does have a masters in physiology and I've dug into my childhood and it just screams ADHD).


Now I'm dealing with re-creating myself imagine, learning how my brain actually works and trying to cast away with all negative emotions I've had from feeling that I never get anything completed and all the other 'nasty' stuff that comes with ADHD.

I'm also figuring out all the fun stuff that comes with it! (Which reminds me, I think I'll start a post for people to just list the fun stuff!!)

Uh, if I remember to after reading rest of these posts that is! :)

[Vincent]

I'm well into my 47th year of life and am just coming to terms with this issue. Evidently I was diagnosed by my pediatrician in grade school at the behest of ALL of my teachers from grades 1 through 3, and my mother refused have the prescription filled or even acknowledge the issue. So we went into full denial, while I was having massive emotional and behavioral problems that continued through high school, which I did not finish either. But I aced the EQ test and went on to minor success in JC and a very uninspired BA that I've never used; you guys know the story from there. I have struggled my whole life with personal relationships, self-medication, social anxiety, etc. Basically I have lived my life without a plan, and am starting to feel like a complete failure. This is coupled with extreme anger towards my mother for allowing this to happen. Get this: she's a licensed psychologist now, and she still can't confront the issue! So I am trying to develop some coping skills now, which feels way too late, and trying to forgive my mother as well. I don't know how to or if I even want to get formally diagnosed as an adult. Can't wait to turn 48!

[Michelle MacGregor]

Vincent, it is incredibly difficult to get past the denial and the anger. That is a process you will have to work through as we all have are are trying to. What I would say is that being diagnosed is simply a way to help you attain either the medication you need or the support and structure you need to find peace and happiness in this life. I do not think it is ever too late to pursue happiness. Behavior modification, medication and therapy can take you very far into that happiness. It isn't easy to stop beating yourself up and to stop buying into the idea that you are lazy and blah blah blah....to stop beating yourself up for something you needed help for. And honestly 47 is young. I am 40 and just now finishing my bachelor's and on to a graduate degree. I am old....but hey, what the hell, I am going to have to work until I am 70 anyway!

[Ben]

Six.