ADD, Meds, boredom, and the office

[Emily]

Does anyone else find that when you start to get bored with your job, you also begin to feel like your meds aren't working anymore, not just at work, but at all?

I'm a notorious job hopper, before my current job, I had never had a job more than 10 months, granted this is my first real, professional job out of college, but I've only been doing it a couple of years and I'm kind of done with the whole industry/profession. What's worse, though, is that I also have noticed that my tendency to lose my keys, and all of those stereotypical everyday ADD behaviors and traits that have nothing to do with work are back with a vengence, too. I'm applying to law schools, right now, in the hopes that law will be dynamic/challenging/exciting enough to keep me interested at least long enough to pay off the student loan debt. :P In the meantime, though, I have to get through the at least the next 7 months without walking out into the middle of the street and killing myself because the drugs have quit on me. I can't up my dose, because I like my blood pressure NOT dangerously high... Any suggestions/comments? Even a little commiserating would probably help some. ;P

[NerdyMommy]

Emily.... I can totally relate. The only advice I would have regarding the meds is that sometimes, rather than upping the dose, you could try a different medication. Not knowing how long you've been on meds, or how many you've tried, that might not be good advice, but it's the best I have ;) Except to maybe ask for a special project or something that you could do, that would grab your interest for a while? I've been fortunate that way with my job - my normal, everyday job gets boring as hell... but it seems that just when I'm ready to throw in the towel, I get a special project to work on, and that gets me through for a while - usually long enough that my normal job seems fun again! Might be worth asking...

[Emily]

That's a good idea, I've done it once before and it helped, but I've only taken Concerta and Adderall, so maybe it's time to look into trying something new, again. It's weird, though, I actually kind of feel more like myself than I have in long time, too (and I like that self a lot), so I'm wondering if maybe I need something more flexible than the Adderall XR. I'm thinking about asking my pysch about switching to something more short-lived so I can decide more easily when I want to be "on" and when I want to be "me." Does that make sense?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on work, too, my boss is kind of socially inept and I don't think he quite knows what to make of/do with me. He seems to think that I'm some kind of magic because I'm smart, talented, quick, charming, charismatic, resourceful, and efficient (sort of, this is my new mantra, it seems to working quite well so far, hahaha), but it's like he thinks he can fine tune my more ADD tendencies by talking to me about it (even though he's so distracting/bad at time management himself, that he's usually part of the problem), and I'm like "you don't understand. This is who I am. You keep taking away more coping mechanisms and expect me to be able to do your job, my job, and my business process improvement work AND my relationship management work with other departments?" There are always trade-offs, I think, and sure I'm good at a lot of my job, but there are tasks that I am supposed to do that involve large, unwieldly documents and organizing data and my boss seems to think these are "mundane tasks" but they totally overwhelm me. He thinks that I avoid them because I don't like them and stick to the more interesting tasks because I like them more, and while that's partially true, he'll never understand that they are actually easier for me. I think ADHD creates paradoxes like that all of over my life. I have a lot of friends who seem to think I'm pretty great, but I'm not good at keeping in touch and I find that "normal" people bore me REALLY fast. I have exceptional leadership skills and organize people as naturally as I breathe, but filing systems make me want to run home crying to my mom, haha. It's an odd way of being, but to be honest, I don't think I'd want to be any other way. :)

Thanks for your thoughts and support! Have a GREAT weekend, lady!

[Cathie]

I know what you mean about that ADHD paradox. I've always joked that I have a backwards brain....after my diagnosis, I finally realized I don't have a backwards brain, I have an ADHD brain. It's a brain that can fail a 3 credit first aid class because it is soooooo boring and tedious and get an A in upper level organic chemistry....very weird, but I am what I am :-D

[Emily]

Yup, that's EXACTLY what it's like, Cathie. You know I struggled with math (although I was in advanced courses all through high school) until I got to calculus? Granted, I had a really great teacher who seemed to understand that I NEEDED to sit in the front of the classroom and be engaged to learn and who enjoyed and encouraged my enthusiasm whenever possible. But I had the same teacher for Algebra II and still barely scratched a C out of the class. After the end of the first semester, I had a solid A in Calculus, it was the most amazing thing, but it required a lot more creativity than my previous math courses and I think that's why it worked out for me. I ended up having to drop the class second semester because I had this AWFUL sinus infection for about 4 months and missed so much school, but my teacher was really sad to see me leave her class (and tried to help me find ways to stay in it/another, slower paced Calc class, but I was still sick and new that if I didn't cut myself some slack, I wasn't going to get better) and told me that she would miss my enthusiam.

I think it's kind of funny how, it might take a while, but once we ADDers win people over, we have advocates, friends, and mentors for life (and this was all before my diagnosis). I'm not even always sure why people seem to follow me the way they do, but I'll take it. :P

[DANA]

Hi Emily! It sounds like you and I have a few things in common.

All my life, I have been a notorious job hopper. Then three years ago, I started working for a company in which I truly enjoyed. My supervisor and managers were a fun group to work with and they encouraged teamwork with the staff. One of the reasons that I stayed with this job for close to three years is because I loved my job and the people. There were times in which I may have felt bored with my job, but typically, it didn't last long and I bounced back!

As for medication, I have only been taking Adderall since June 2009. My doctor is very conservative and she REFUSES to increase my dosage. It is infuriating because I personally believe that 20 mg once daily is too low a dosage and should be increased to see how I respond. (My blood pressure is fine, but my doctor is not likely to make any changes.)

Is Adderall causing your blood pressure to increase? Has all stimulant medications caused the same reaction or is this something new for you? At what point did your medication stop working? Perhaps, your body gets very used to the medication and you may need to switch to another stimulant? Definitely discuss your concerns with your doctor and hopefully he/she will listen to you and help you.

Another option may be to look into an alternative to medicine, such as Omega 3 or natural supplements to promote clear thinking, attention and concentration. For many years, I had used a wide variety of natural alternatives and there are so many beneficial products that are helpful.

[Emily]

Wow, that's really great that you found a place that fits you so well! It gives me hope for the rest of us. :) I think that we have a role to play in the world because we are dreamers AND doers and if we are encouraged and understood, we grow into people who don't believe in "impossible." I am really glad that I ended up in the job I'm in, now, because it has taught me that, since most people don't think the way I do, there are so many "inefficiencies in the idea market," of which I can take advantage (what? I'm an economist by training and blood, since it's kind of the family trade, this is just how I see the world, hehe). I've just kind of outgrown it, I think. It's served it's purpose to me and I'm ready to move on, but you know how that goes. Once you have reached that point, you want to move on NOW and I'm having to be patient in ways I've never really had to before because I can't just quit my job and get another one that I only intend to keep for 7-9 months. So frustrating.

I think I actually have the opposite problem with my psych. She's fairly liberal with the meds and I'm on 60 mg of Adderall XR. I've still got the dry mouth (although, the appetite decrease has fallen off a little, much to my occasional chagrin, haha) and my blood pressure has increased some since I started taking stimulants (although, it's still in a healthy range, so it's not a big deal), I'm just kind of convinced that upping the dose isn't really going to accomplish anything because, what it comes down to is that the drugs aren't going to cure me, I'm still as ADD as ever, they just help with the symptoms. What that means is that boredom is what it is, and I guess I need to find a way to jump start my enthusiasm. Obviously, I'm not a doctor and, even though you and I do seem to have A LOT in common, I don't know why your doctor would be so conservative about the meds. Are you seeing an ADD specialist? Have you considered maybe switching pyschs? Just a thought.

Thanks for the advice on alternatives, I've been wondering if maybe I should re-think my philosophy on the medication, too. Right now, I think my take on it is that it SHOULD cure me, and that's not the right attitude. I'm not going to be sans-ADD and what I have come to realize recently is that I don't ever WANT to be. There are things I like about who I am when I'm not medicated that I wouldn't change for anything, so I'm thinking that maybe I need to start thinking about how I manage the symptoms when they will negatively impact me (with medication) and let myself be when they won't. I have an appt with my psych next weekend and I think I'm going to talk to her about going off the XR to give me a little more flexibility to take it when I need it and not take it when I don't. I've done the Omega 3 thing, but I found that I had to be so careful with it (making sure I ate something pretty big BEFORE I took it or I would get horribly sick) and finding that it just grosses me out in general (couldn't tell you why, either, cause I this was the case even when I switched from fish oil to flaxseed), that I couldn't stick with it. Do you know of anything else that might help?

Thanks for sharing, Dana!! :D

[DANA]

Hi Emily!

The one thing that I should have mentioned earlier is that after loving my job and staying with the company for close to 3 years, I eventually did resign, but it was not due to boredom. In January 2008, I was diagnosed with 4 bulging discs in the low lumbar area. Standing long hours aggravated my back and made it worse.

I really did not want to leave my job because I did enjoy it very much, yet, I was challenged with the back pain and then I was diagnosed in March 2008 with fibromyalgia. For the past 1 1/2 years, I have worked on a freelance basis as a Makeup Artist and as a writer.

Recently, I have thought about working a steady job because the freelance work is too unpredictable. On my one job interview, I was truly offended when this man said that my out going personality was a serious concern of his. Right away, I instantly knew that I could NOT work with this man who, in my opinion, was far too arrogant. (Trust me, those "red flags" were not only flying that day, they were clearing alarming me to run fast!)

As for other natural alternatives for ADHD, my favorites are Phosphatidylserine (great for memory, focus, attention and staying on task), the amino acid Acetyl-L-Carnitine (to promote concentration by helping to maintain vital brain functions like neurotransmitter production) and
Pycnogenol, also known as pine park extract is used to improve the function of the neurotransmitters (dopamine and norepinephrine) in the brain.

I want to mention that these are the top natural supplements that I prefer to use, especially if I am not taking any stimulant medication. However, I am not providing any medical advice since I am not a doctor. Keep in mind that natural supplements may effect each individual differently. What works great for one person may not necessarily work the same for someone else.

[Miss K]

I'd love to blame the Vyvanse, but...I know it can't make decisions for me. I am at my office right now in hell and have been here for nine hours, getting nothing done. My assistant has no-showed for let's see...five days now...so we're firing her...and as a result I have a pile higher than my head of boring, mindless work that has to be done before I can go home. Work has sucked since last week because her unreliability has thrown any routine around here on its head. Plus, I'm stressed about other stuff, so that's not helping...but I took my Vyvanse this morning. However, it only creates the conditions that will make it more likely for me to make good decisions, it doesn't make the decision for me. And boy do I ever wish it could.

So I guess it would be really easy for me to go "oh, my meds aren't working" but I know they're probably doing the same thing they always do, there's just no drug on the planet that could drag me out of this almost temper tantrum. I don't know if this bears any relation to what you're talking about, but...I know that for me, it does seem suspiciously like my meds aren't working...when I'm just past the point of reason anyway. And I'm way past the point of reason with this pile of work, as "easy" as it should be to finish...on that note, I'm going to go override myself and try to finish some of it...grrr....

[Emily]

That's a good point about personal responsibility and accountability. It is really easy to want to blame one's weaknesses on someone/something else, but at the end of the day, sometimes you really do just have to suck it up and stick it out. It always bothers me, though, when people who don't have ADD say such things to me, because I just want to be like, I don't judge you when you can't keep up with me, why on earth do you think it's appropriate to assume you understand what it's like to be me. Ugh. For some reason, I do seem to have a totally different reaction to someone with ADD saying something sort of along the same lines, though, isn't that funny? I read your post and I was like, "oh, hell n--, wait a minute, she's not judging me, she's relating... hmmm, maybe she's onto something here..." Haha. I think it's because you related it to something you're experiencing instead of trying to throw my experiences back at me. Does that make sense?

I'm really sorry to hear that someone you rely on to keep things going for you so you can do what you do best turned out to be so unreliable. That's really rough. I hate it when people are that inconsiderate, but I do find that I have to remind myself a lot that, sometimes, it's not that people are purposely inconsiderate and self-absorbed, but that I have the capability to be more empathetic than a lot of people and to see a lot more of what's going on around me than other people, so in some cases, they really just don't get it (I like to think this is the case with my boss, but I can't help but believe that sometimes he's just not a terribly considerate person). However, what you have described is SUPER inconsiderate and irresponsible by anyone's standards and it sucks that you have to clean up the mess. :(

Hang in there, friend! We are pulling for you! And (please don't think I'm a sanctimonious prick for saying this, because I really don't mean it that way, you definitely have to honor your feelings) remember that one of the gifts of ADD is that what others find impossible, we eat for breakfast, even if the trade off is that things that others think of as a cakewalk really hurt our heads. Have you let it all out, at all? Found some kind of vent for your frustration? I like to drive and sing at the top of my lungs for a while, that helps me. But even a good full-lung, from-the-diaphragm scream can let out a lot of pent up emotion and "push the reset button," if you will. ;) Good luck and Godspeed, lady! I hope you are getting a bit of a break this weekend.