ADHD is Awesome

[Devin Mackey]

Okay, I've tried to reach a couple of people and no one is responding, I'm bored, so I'm going to speak off the cuff so to speak. Uh, Oh, I have come to the realization that ADHD is awesome. The majority call it a disorder, but is it really? I don't think so. We as ADHDers have some great abilities, such as seeing the big picture before others. What else, Uh. we are creative, intuitive, hyperactive, smart, and a bunch of other things that I can't think of right now. A book I read related ADHDer to the hunters back in the old days, I'm thinking like thousands of years ago, and related the "normal" people to the farmers. That is cool because we were the ones who were acutely aware of our surroundings and ready to leap at a moments notice loving the thrill of the hunt,while the farmers did their day in day out boring mundane stuff, no less important, just, boring. I read earlier I think on this site someone saying that just because we are the minority we are the ones with the disorder. I think not. We are quick witted, we get stuff faster than the farmers. We see through to the heart of the matter perty darn quick. We, as the minority are from what I read and hear, are above average intelligence, yet we are the ones with the disorder, huh! We are random and funny and in our funniness are random which is really funny. We are sometimes considered eccentric if we let our true selves show. I'm, because I'm bored, have no one to talk to here, and have nothing better to do, am becoming more aware of this conspiracy to label the intelligent ones with the disorder. I just the other day had this superior acting doctor sitting behind his degree, his pen and paper looking down his nose at me, get into some semantics because I asked him where the psychological and the chemical meet with anxiety, in other words, when does anxiety get bad enough that I need medicine for it, in which he hissed back through his forked tongue " there is no concrete answer to your philosophical question" and then the bantor begin. What a arrogant jerk. You as a doctor are going to arrogantly, without a handshake or so much as how was your day, are gonna perch yourself up in your chair, not get on my level, empathize, try to know or even smile and then try to treat an organ based on my interpretation of symptoms which you will interperate differently because of your arrogant attitude when you cant and are the only ones in the medical profession treating an organ you can't even see. Where is room for arrogance based on that? None, the doctor ought to humbly get on my level and let's synergestically come up with a solution through a conversation based on mutual respect. Just venting. My confidence and self-esteem for so long was knocked low because of these arrogant doctors playing their guessing games with DSM which are very not reliable anyway. Sooo, I'm turning over a new leaf. ADHD is not a curse, it is a blessing and I'm glad to have this blessing as to see things in this life that the farmers will never see. I've experienced incredible successes in short periods of time, time and time again, moving on, bored, what's next, too much sameness. I'm a dreamer and naive enough to believe that me as well as all of us ADHDers have incredible gift's that can change this world is we will step up look at this in a different light. Some of you may already, not discounting that , just realizing this stuff as I am typing. I'm 41 and have spent much of my life trying to be "normal" and couldn't, thank God He did answer that prayer to help me be normal. How boring that would be. How limited I would be. How much I would not see. When I read, the words are as the stimuli that comes all at the same time. So I have to pay attention that much more to what I read, a little slower perhaps, so what. I seem to grasp much more than most of those in class with me. I'm funny and random as are you who have ADHD. This world has tried to squelch that in me all my life, calling me a class clown, a goof off, as well as several other names I can't say. We are pretty damn special. I just dont' understand the deficit. If us ADHDers are in a new environment and the other half are the farmers, I guarantee ya we are more aware and are having alot more fun than the others. Who has the disorder. Normal, although respected, is limited. People, friends around me without our gift do not have insight, they are not as intelligent, they don't get things until pointed out by me. On the other hand, they, the farmers have their unique things that are valuable too, I just wouldn't want to be one of them. We drink coffee to calm and focus us, they drink coffee to pick them up, to get them to our speed. Huh, that's kinda odd, I didnt' think of that until just now. We are gifted, creative, intuitive, self-reflective, funny, random, eccentric, acutely aware of others and surroundings. Why are they calling this a disorder, because I couldn't sit in class with my farmer friends with blurting something out making them laugh, disrupting class. I couldnt' and knew better, that America educating our kids to be employees, good little employees, who if we are lucky, we will go on to college, make good grades, follow all the rules, graduate and work for someone else for the 40 years in an unstable economy. Thats boring, I believe it is the ADHDers who are the entrepreneurs, we relate to people. We are the C students in charge of the college graduates. We are breaking new ground. We keep things hopping. Unforturnately, for me, this didn't happen because I sold into the belief that I had the problem and had to become like the farmers. We are all unique. I wish someone would have caught me years ago and fostered my talents and gifts. But, I still believe I will change the world in one form or another, I just don't know how or what yet. I'm a big car with a big engine and no steering wheel but I'll get one. Thanks for the opportunity to just talk just for the heck of it. I'm bored and on to the next.

[Michelle MacGregor]

Tere, you know I watched my parents (who are hunters living disguised as farmers), work and scrimp and save in order to retire and have financial security be undone by the very system that they invested in and saved with. When my father retired he had saved but because of the stock market he has had to cut in half what he would have lived on. I watched my mother get sick and die before she was able to enjoy any of her efforts and I watched as the company that my dad worked for for 37 years declared him excess and force him into early retirement. It is simply absurd to believe that just because the farmers scrimp and save that they will necessarily be better off in the end. Crops fail...we can always hunt and be fed.

I think that as ADDers we all need to embrace the gifts and minimize the impact of the parts of ADHD that do not fit very well into modern society. And if you can frame the parts that don't fit well into a positive light, then you are even better off than the farmers. Because of my ADHD and a few other traits, I could give a shit mostly what people think of me. This leaves me free to be who I am and to do what I want to do within the limits of not hurthing other people. I could give a shit. If you don't like me leave. It can be difficult, but it is also extremely freeing. I am an outcast anyway. So I don't care what kind shoes I wear, car I drive or if I live in an enormous house....I have enough and I am loved and happy. I eat McDonalds when I want to because I like and I even - gasp - feed it to my kid - I let him play guns and I don't care if he watches tv. I get to love who I am and who my son and husband are because I have ADHD - and most people really love me and are drawn to me for this specific reason.

As far as financial security, there is little that is absolutely secure, just for the farmers the illusion of security is more complete - their lives could change on a dime and they don't even know it and wouldn't know what to do when it did change.

Good luck - and Devin, if you are still around and reading, keep celebrating the ADHD traits!

[tere]

Michelle, thanks for the reality check about security. I have been a little obsessed with it lately because it's absence in my own life right now is pervasive. However, as you have reminded me, security itself truly is an illusion. When I was younger, I absolutely embraced the chaos and laughed at people who needed a safety net, as my perception was that they were deluding themselves. It has been since having children that this has begun to change and I have tried harder to "pass for normal" and acquire what other "normal" people have. Although chaos has always been fine for me, I worried that it wouldn't be such a screamin' deal for the two children I brought into the world. Slowly over the years, the lines have blurred between who I really am and who I am trying to be. Right now, all I can do is take one day at a time and know that I don't know. What is going to happen next for us is anyone's guess and that is okay (deep breath, deep breath....). I also agree with you that in not caring what others think of you, you are truly free. What a joyous celebration life becomes when we can really live our truth in that way without fear of alienating others. Rock on, sister!

[Michelle MacGregor]

I see what you mean about blurring the lines and wanting your childrens' lives to be as normal as possible. What my therapist has told me time and again is that what is important is our childrens' perceptions of their lives. Kids are so resilient and if for the most part, if there is love and joy in their lives and as much consistency as you can muster, then know that this will just be their normal. They will learn coping mechanisms from you - and if you can keep as much humor as possible then even better. I try every day to follow that advice (I fail almost daily, but as an ADDer, I am persistent if nothing else and I just keep getting up and trying again!).

[Scott]

Ah Devin, you read Hartmann's book, nice, so did I. It is odd, because I 'intuited' most all of his theory prior to reading the damn thing. And I have the lion's share of sanity, and am sans delusions of grandeur- I really mean that I 'assumed' much of the man's book before I digested it. I could go on and on, but this typing is better spent by saying something new;

People with ADD/ADHD have a natural desire to lead the less gifted- or be lead by equals and the fellow brilliant. It is because we desire stimulating results from life, not the humdrum and/or predictable.

We are sainted or damned by our upbringing, often. Lackluster parenting will often cause us to act out and be greatly misunderstood or underestimated. I lucked out by being an adopted child- and having a father who was/is a historian, bibliophile and intellectual. My parents went into the bargain childless and paying close attention. I dropped out of school three months into the 8th grade, and have no further formal education whatsoever. Got my GED a week after turning 16- not that it feels good to tell anyone I have a GED, mind you. And yet, I can win at Jeopardy!, out-science post-grads and no one believes me when I speak of my schooling (in this case- the lack thereof) and learning history.

I have a cousin who has the DRD4 variant gene as well- this guy has lived such a varied and incredibly diverse/bizarre life that the entire family just shakes their head in "well, that's just him..." confusion- and yet, he is incredibly articulate, talented and prescient. It's as I can almost 'feel' the accidental genetic similarity we share.

The 'curse' of ADD/ADHD is only such in a society of complacent, docile and intellectually-limp people, and those people who have a below average intellect/aptitude along with the ADD/ADHD genetics. Even then- those individuals are still natural problem solvers and survivors. We are the reason large populations weathered the ice age. We are imagination, creativity and the embodiment of the 'new' idea. We are wolves in an imposed sheep's clothing we did not make or dream ourselves.

Our disadvantage most always lies in our motivation itself. We need a tangible 'why' in order to get moving often. We need reward, recompense and sometimes a perceived adulation of sorts. It is the kind of character- coded into our blood- that made Caesar, Hannibal, Shakespear, Wilde and Edison who they were.

It is the fierce spark behind the eyes.

It is why I fear absolutely nothing in conversation or public speaking. It is why I use adjectives that should be hyperbole without concern for them being taken as such.

And also why I love the goofily absurd, the off-kilter and the genuine 'novelty' of things- because novelty and significance are closer to one another than the average person can ever know intuitively.

[tere]

Scott, I can feel the ADHD vibrating off the page of your post. It is awesome. Why be normal, right? (As if we ADDers have a choice anyway?)

[DANA]

Tere, I was reading the above comment that Scott wrote and I was thinking how neat it is that there are people who understand me because they think like me! As I finished reading Scott's comments, I thought, "Wow! I can practically FEEL his ADHD from his post!" Then I saw your comment about feeling his ADHD vibrating off the page and I had to laugh out loud that both of us were on the same wavelength!

[Devin Mackey]

Scott, I appreciate your response. It was very inspiring in that it has been awhile since I wrote that and have since been struggling with insurance to even get covered for my meds. The last 2 months I have not been on ADD meds and it has been hell. Today, the insurance finally said they would cover me so I am back on and it feels great. My ADD is inattentive and I just feel disconnected from everything off of it. I am non-expressive and inarticulate without it so it's good to finally be back. Thankyou for your response. I appreciated your depth. At times I see this disorder as what it is, a disorder. At other times I feel as if I have alot to offer somewhere. I too quit school my senior year and got my ged. I seem to be smart and yet feel stupid sometimes. I don't think like others. I like randomness, something different, I get bored with things easy. I don't see the reward and I don't want to start, that whole motivation thing you were speaking of. So many years of undiagnosed ADD affected the course of my life and now i struggle or battle the demons I have picked up over the years. I amsoglad

[Devin Mackey]

I am so glad my daughter got diagnosed with ADHD at 12 years of age. She has a chance to blossom and not have to struggle with the issues I deal with because of undiagnosed ADHD. Thankyou Scott for your response.

[DANA]

Devin, I enjoyed reading this post and all of the interesting comments from everyone! I loved that you wrote, "I believe it is the ADHDers who are the entrepreneurs, we relate to people. We are the C students in charge of the college graduates. We are breaking new ground. We keep things hopping."

I agree with you whole heartedly! I believe that it is us, ADDer's, who truly are the "go getter's", the creative bunch of people who look at life through a totally different lens than the rest of the world who you referred to as the "farmers."

You know, Devin, there are so many excellent points that you brought up when you wrote this original post. One thing that you stated is that "We are gifted, creative, intuitive, self-reflective, funny, random, eccentric, acutely aware of others and surroundings." These are very WONDERFUL qualities, in my opinion!

The absurd thing is that the "farmers" who I consider very ordinary, boring, unstimulating and who follow routines easily, who would NEVER consider getting off the beaten path to do something exciting or risk-taking, are the individuals who expect us ADDer's to follow their example as if they are correct and we are incorrect with our life choices.

Sometimes, I wonder if individuals with ADHD simply feel driven to seek MORE excitement, MORE adventure, MORE stimulating conversation and if we have a stronger urge to take risks compared to the Non-ADDer's? Do we feel bored and unstimulated with our present status in life? Is this urge for adventure rooted to our diagnosis of ADD/ADHD, which causes us to be thrill seeking and to have the need to experience INTENSE exhilaration?

I can not help, but analyze the fact that all of my life, I have grown bored with jobs, I could never make up my mind about what I wanted to do with my life, I have grown sick and tired of the same food, bored with the same daily routine, with day to day living that becomes very mundane, very ordinary and never involving many surprises or changes. So is this a personality flaw or ADHD? Does this adventure seeking come from being an impulsive ADDer?

A Non-ADDer may read this post and believe that this is totally over the edge and very irresponsible. I would not be surprised if they even consider this attitude of thrill seeking very immature and self-centered. Logically, I do understand why the Non-ADDer would judge the ADDer's and find them to be very different. The bottom line, we ARE very unique and nothing like the "farmers!"

When I take a good hard look at the Non-ADDer's, I look at this large group and I am in AWE that they have so much stability, that they do NOT take as many risks in life, that they are content with "ordinary" and that they do NOT want to ever "rock the boat."

I could not live like that or be satisfied living such a boring and traditional life. Sure, it is socially "acceptable" and may even be looked upon as "successful", but I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I am the type of individual that literally MUST have change, must have excitement, adventure, newness and an intensity of emotions that promote a rush of the adrenaline. Does anyone else feel this way?

The reality for me is that this is how I was created, this is who I am and no matter how much I may attempt to change or try to "fit in" with the rest of society, the "farmers", I can not change the very person that I am on the inside.

Therefore, instead of battling with something that I have difficulty to control, why not surrender to it and simply accept the unique individual that I am? Perhaps, life would be so much more satisfying and empowering if I were to surrender to my true self and to allow myself to feel free to let go, to seek adventure, to be creative, funny, random, intuitive, to live life to the fullest, dare to be different, dare to dream BIG dreams and run with the experience of living life as if it were the last day on earth?

[sherry mulberry]

I love what you wrote. It took me years of depression and several break downs later . I 'm as normal as i can be and proud of it. I have been bored a lot lately and now. I have been through alot in my life but, relize there is some good that you go through in life. I have been lashing out at anyone and everyone. I need to relize that normal is within and not with what the doctors or counslors say you have. I wish I would of read this sooner. you are very smart and I would love to get to know you more. Sorry you didn't get diagnosed till later , but just knowing you are now helps though right. They think I'm adhd but, I can't even get into a pysychologist they are not taking new patients. Well I will go on like usual and go through life with a happy heart because I know god loves me and my friends and family and that is all that matters in my world.