I think you have gotten some really good advice here from our members. The thing is though, not everything, especially other people, are within our control. Sometimes you have to let go in order to get something back or at least to know if it was worth it. What's even more important than that is the positive things you have learned in order to improve yourself. Keep on doing them, one day after another and don't turn back wondering what could have been, unless it is to learn via therapy. The thing is, working to improve is something you do daily, which will eventually show to others and perhaps even your wife, or to someone else who can start with you fresh. I know that's not something you want to hear right now, but I also know how much it hurts when you want someone back and they have decided once and for all, that's it. You've been given an opportunity to improve for you and your kids, that's what is important. Perhaps by focusing on improving the quality of life for your children will help you in this process and this above anything else will show your actions to be true, which words and promises just can’t. This is something that takes time and our ADHD impulsivity can get in the way. Instead of thinking in terms of hours, switch to days, instead of days, switch to months. It takes time, but time well worth it.
Thanks Bryan, I am starting to make the transition to moving on and getting things in order so I can prepare for what is to come. I know it won't be easy, I have a ton of support from family, friends and co-workers and will figure it out somehow. I don't know right now how but I will make it work. I think she believes in ADD she just doesn't believe all my issues stem from ADD because she hasn't taken the time (and won't at this point) to understand and learn about it. Hopefully in time she will see and learn more about it, but for now it is time for me to move on as much as I don't want to thats what is happening. Thank you everyone again for the advice and support.
I have been where you are in many respects. All the post that have been made add to your "book" on what to do concerning your situation. Take what you can use from each individual that posted and apply it to your life if you think it works. It appears you have been doing this. To me, as an educator, I told tell my students to take a little from those who possesa knoweldge and wisdom and apply it to their lives. Let's face it Tony, divorce is hell...I do not know who invented this creature...I know you must be feeling lonely at times...I have gone through two divorces...I felt lonely even when crowds of people were around...."I felt like I was holding on to my life by one string." Things will come out for the better. Also Tony, take your meds, exercise, and eat well. You are a gift to the world...NEVER forget this. Tony, continue to take your meds I use to quit and start etc...It only hurt me. Just because you are on meds does not mean you are deffective...if they work continue to use them. Hang in there and know that you will come out ok. We all fail and fall short...peace, my brother...weck
I have a video I would LOVE TO SEND TO YOU.. It is on ADHD and Relationships. If you email me I would Gladly mail it to you. You can have it. I got it a while back when me and my husband were having marriage problems. and it has been a BIG HELP TO THE both of us. We BOTH have adhd. it has explained so much and has helped us both get over communication issues that we both had. Now I am not saying that it is a MAGICAL bandaid. and will mend the old wounds. But this could be the open door to communications. Let me know ...
Good Luck... hear is some other things that I found that is helpful.
Summer Keep in mind that this came off the CHADD website and I am not trying to get members, This is something that I use to do, I thought supporting this cause was a good thing, But the information that is on this site is Just GREAT!!!!Good relationships take a lot of work, whether they are with a spouse, a significant other, a child, or a friend. When one of the people involved has ADHD, there can be additional challenges. Impulsiveness and forgetfulness can be major hindrances to building trusting relationships. And if you are like most people with ADHD, you have received many negative messages about your behavior, and your sense of self-worth may have been adversely affected.
Articles with a key are available to CHADD members. If you are not a member, join CHADD today.
Interacting with Others: Tips for Adults with ADHD - To get along well with others, people must be able to pay attention, to be responsible, and to control their impulses.
Social Skills in Adults with ADHD - Individuals with ADHD often struggle in social situations.
ADHD in Adult Relationships - Author Gina Pera answers questions on the impact of ADHD in a relationship.
Out with the Old, In With the... Wait, Do You Really Need New Clutter? - Read Gina Pera's blog dealing with organizational challenges and spouses' perceptions of the problems.
Stay Connected with Your ADHD Partner - When a spouse is constantly distracted or can't slow down enough to pay attention to his or her partner's needs, it often leads to a relationship meltdown.
The "Gifts of ADHD": Transforming Humiliation into Humility - A big obstacle faced by couples dealing with ADHD is denial.
Is It "Miscommunications" - or ADHD? - Central auditory processing disorder (CAPD) can accompany ADHD and result in problems with processing oral communications.
Marriage and Partnerships - Conflict and discord are common in marriages and partnerships involving an individual with undiagnosed ADHD.
When a "Good News" Diagnosis Means "Bad News" for the Relationship - Diagnosis and treatment of ADHD in one partner, can create brand new dynamics in a relationship. It can take hard work to sort out the changes.
Dealing with the Impact of ADHD on Marriage - While any marriage has its challenging moments, when one or both spouses have ADHD, those times only seem to multiply.
How to Succeed in Marriage with ADHD - How can a couple improve their marriage when ADHD is a factor?
Snapshots of an ADHD Marriage - Diagnosis and treatment of ADHD can make all the difference in the quality of your marriage.
Partners in Life, Partners in ADHD Awareness - Ensuring a spouse is diagnosed and receives effective treatment is a shared responsibility.
ADHD and Sex: No Shame, No Blame - The symptoms of ADHD can intrude into all areas of your life, including romance and sex.
To Sleep, Perchance to Turn Off That *&$@# Computer - Do you fight going to sleep at night? Many people with ADHD do.
Close Relationships, Intimacy and ADHD - ADHD can interfere with developing a close relationship with your significant other.