I'm kind of curious: If you have been diagnosed or started treatment in the last year, how has it affected of changed your life? There are a few million people out there who have been diagnosed and are taking meds, getting therapy, and learning new skills and coping mechanisms. Are you better off? Are you thriving instead of merely surviving? How's your relationships going? Work going better?
With any large focus group, you usually only hear about the horror stories or worse case scenarios. Not that we don't need to hear those stories and by no means do I want to discourage the airing of struggles and hardships, so if that's where you are, don't be afraid to share.
I'll start: I was diagnosed ADHD-PI in January (2011). I was overwhelmed, depressed, and my marriage was in serious trouble. I began taking meds in mid January, and spent the first few months pretty much in damage control mode. I devoured numerous books on ADD and relationships, started counseling, and tackled marriage issues. I can't really say we got anywhere, but my wife observed that I was easier to get along with, and that she liked me medicated and grumpy better that unmedicated and happy.
In April, I was "ADD'ed out": I was tired of talking about it, working on it, trying to get all my "duck in a row". I was also tired of being in the house. I'd been working on a remodel for a year and when I wasn't doing that, I was in front of the computer reading about ADD. My comedy act was kind of on hold.
So I just started doing outdoor projects. No agenda, to time table, no "Must do this right now". I quit putting so much emphasis on what needed to be done and just started doing. The results have been incredible. Using a lot of the tools I've learned while hyper-focusing on ADD and organizing, I've been tackling projects with enthusiasm, and COMPLETING THEM!
I also quit focusing so much on my marriage problems, and there had been incredible healing in that department. My daughter has even commented on how much better we're getting along. We still have issues, but we have a much greater unity.
I'm now looking forward to what the future holds. I see possibilities instead of hurdles.
So how about you? You don't have to write a book, but how's it going?
I think there is great healing found in sharing or just 'letting out' the feelings and struggles. It doesn't have to be directional or even have answers, or ask questions, just the simple writing or speaking of 'it' whatever 'it' is. I think too often we look for conclusions and answers when sometimes we just need to get something off of our chest. I think mostly ADDers just want to be free 'to be' without being questioned, without being ridiculed, without being put on the spot or being directed.
With that said - good for you! Sometimes I too think I over-think things and when I get past the 'thinking' of it I am better able to accomplish things. I've probably spent more time in contemplation than the actual 'doing'. I think you hit on an important point. It's hard though to get past the contemplation part and 'just do'. My mind is always 'on' and doesn't like to do anything without constantly thinking about it. Another thing I have learned to is actually enjoy the 'thinking' of things and not punish myself for it. The other part of the equation is that we get mad at ourselves for what we do naturally. I've learned that by embracing what I do and how I do it I am much more capable in doing what I want to do - whatever that might be in any given situation.
It's going better. Just as with my son who was dx ADD in May 2010 (I was dx Jan2011) - it's not an excuse but a reason, and something to overcome or adapt the world to.
So I 'live by my planner' - which my exH used to make me *very* self-conscious about - and realize my son isn't being a brat to be a brat - he genuinely couldn't remember things pre-Rx. Now, we work together to get him through the day, and I take a patience pill in the evening as his med (Vyvanse) wears off. My son sees the difference, and after seeing how a couple of different school days went with no-meds - he's feeling much better about himself.
The things I was reading & learning about in 2010 for him - much of it applies to me. I've gotten pretty viscious in de-cluttering, I don't beat myself up about not being able to get "everything done" - and laugh along w/ a few friends about the entertainment I give when they come over "while I'm cleaning up" aka running around in many directions w/ little getting done but some GREAT conversation :p - and re-learning ways to focus at work to become more successful literally & mentally - which carries over into personal time.
As a result of his diagnosis - and my later one - it has helped repair my relationship w/ my son, and explains quite a bit about the failures w/ my ex, and interactions w/ many people in my life. Also helps explain some things about my dad & sister.