Is there a happy ending for people with ADD/HD?

[Anna Newman]

I'm newly diagnosed ADD and still reading and learning and trying medicines and trying to figure out what having ADD really means. I thought that knowing the name of the problem that has plagued me all my life would be the start of fixing it. I thought that having a medicine and reading and learning would mean there was a cure and if I followed the yellow brick road I'd arrive where everyone else in the world already is, the city called "Normal". I thought it meant I'd be "normal", like everyone else and that I'd fit right in and be considered a citizen and at long last I would belong. So I took the pills, read the books, blogs, and everything else. I clicked my heels and nothing happened. The next thing I read said "...dealing with ADD/HD isn't about being normal, it's about acceptance". And I've been encouraged to find my strengths and use them. That's a long ways from the promise land. So, Is anyone w/ADD/HD happy? Fulfilled? Fit in? Feel "normal"? Treated "normal"? Living the dream? Being ahead of the game? Is there a happy ending somewhere? I'd like to hear from someone that has a personal, in the first-person, true success story. I'm switching to chasing rainbows now.

[Anna Newman]

Hi Dana-Thanks for sharing your success story, it was really heartwarming. I know one of the greatest and most important kinds of success in the world is being an advocate for your kids and launching them into their own success in the world. What are you talking about not having climbed high mts. or ran marathons? But you have-you climbed the highs and lows with your son thru the negative behavior to the creative and happy young man he has become, and you ran the marathon with his school district for a solid year and not only won but emerged assertive, stronger, emotionaly tougher, persistent and resourceful. As a mother of two kids, 1 w/ADHD and 1 yet to be diagnosed ADD, I certainly recognize and respect your hard work and dedication and view yours as a success story all parents can appreciate. Way to go! Thanks for sharing your success! :)

[Joy]

Anna,
I absolutely loved this discussion as it is EXACTLY how I am feeling. I am newly diagnosed at 45 years old. It has been 4 months and I have done everything you have and am now in the same place as you. I was feeling very excited and hopeful but now all of sudden I feel stuck. I have put all my systems in place but still feel like I am floundering. I am very overwelmed with the work that needs to be done with my home based business as a Sales Director for a Cosmetics Company, taking care of a house, husband, a 3 year old and my goals to eat right and exercise everyday! Yikes! I use a most important things to do list everyday and I have set up a daily schedule for everything but I am still behind! It is very discouraging. The medication is very helpful but once it wears off, I lose all my motivation and I feel a little crabby. I am grateful for the diagnosis but frustrated that I can't seem to do more to help myself. I do appreciate having access to this website as it is very helpful and very comforting.
Warmly,
Joy

[Steven Charles]

I hear ya Joy, and feel your pain & frustration. It's almost seems like everything would be easier if we didn't know our talents, goals, or what we need to do to reach them. I often feel like I've got the car tuned up, full of gas, the road map on my lap, turn it on, step on the gas, and..............

Somehow, for some reason, the potential is not translated into the kinetic, and our wheels spin.

[Anna Newman]

Hi Joy-thanks for your response, you know what they say "misery loves company". In this case I'm just glad to know there are others out there feeling as I do, and to have a great place like this for us to share our stories. You and I really are in the same boat-taking care of home, hubby, kids, trying to eat right and exercise. Trying to take care of everyone and everything, inside and out, while managing ADD and trying to be happy, fullfilled, successful and make a contribution of some sort to the world. That would be a lot by its self without the extra difficulties that ADD adds to the mix. As you know, I'm super, super, super into ADD/HD success stories and my own personal search for what lies beyond the understood boundaries of ADD/HD-or what I call "beyond the rainbow". Well, I've had some luck hunting. There are tons of wonderful social networks for people w/ADD/HD, like this one, and I've come across some interesting success stories. The common element I saw is that they each were really gifted in a paticular area and able to turn that into their success. Goes back to "find your strengths & use them", common sense right? Maybe. That's not all of the answer yet but it's certainly encouraging. And it's a step in the right direction. I'll share more of my findings as I go and I hope I'll hear more from you too. Til then may your life be full of sunshine and rainbows :) -Anna-

[Steven Charles]

Interesting that you came upon that "common element". However, I would add what I've seen as a contributing factor to their success. I see, know, and have known many, many ADDers, who were quite talented, knew what their talent was, yet still floundered, some worse than others. The common element I see, that separates those who make it, and those who don't, is the addition of a partner, or team member. It can be a supportive spouse, a creative partner, business manager, etc, but that person is able to handle much/all of the "left brain" nuts & bolts, business aspects of translating that passion/talent into a livelihood.

Tony Bennett is a case in point, his brother handles all aspects of the business, leaving Bennett able to live his entire life, doing the two things he loves to do, sing, and paint. He doesn't even drive, he really just paints & sings, when he's done one for good while, he'll shift to doing the other, etc...

[Anna Newman]

Wow-that's a good point! That didn't even occur to me. I believe you're right about that. Another piece of the puzzle. Interesting, too, about Tony Bennett. Is he ADD/HD too? Kinda sounded like it. My two favorite hobbies are scrapbooking and writting. When I'm into one I just can't do the other. Visual and verbal. When I scrapbook it's like art to me and I'm much, much, much less verbal to the point of not being able to think of the right word, not being able to express myself or think of something to say etc. When I'm into reading and writting I'm all communicative and expressive and can't do the scrapbooking. It's like a light switch that turns internally and I have no control over it. I wish there was a job that'd pay me to do that! haha Thanks for your input-I hope I'll hear more. :)
PS-Is there a medicine for that? Or a name for that? Or is it just part of ADD/HD? Maybe there's tons of people out there like me w/internal switches flipping back and forth. lol If anyone knows, please let me know!

[Lizard (aka, Butthead)]

to answer your initial question as an ADHD'er with it all my life in a major way, there are very happy moments and wins as there are very depressing moments and lose!! I personally am a person of extremes mostly (no I am not bipolar), it is just that I have that thing of being hyper happy or hyper mad! I guess it is all relative depending on the moment, I tend to be reactive to the moment if that makes sense to you or gives insight.

[Anna Newman]

Hey Lizard,
Thanks for your input and I agree with you that there are super highs and super lows with ADD/HD and it depends on the moment. I'm taking Adderall XR and it helps me with that. My personal experience was the best with Vyvanse but my insurance won't cover it so I take Adderall instead. It's great at evening out the highs and lows for me. Thanks for your insight! :)

[Steven Charles]

Anna, I'm not sure if Bennett has ADD/HD or not (although many artists/musicians do, whether diagnosed or not), but the main point is that most of us have one or more attributes or interests that we are good at, and enjoy. Being able to pursue one (or more) as a passion & livelihood is a blessing, for it means not having to simply do a "job" (which I think is difficult for us to maintain interest, thus focus, in). Furthermore, those most fortunate, and who generally end up far more successful, are those who are able to team up with one or more others, that carry out the tasks we are less equipped for.

It's almost like we are a microcosm of the President, we have the "vision", see the big picture, full of great ideas, and even know how they should be executed. And just as it would be pretty near impossible for one man/woman to do it alone, with a loyal and capable cabinet, all those ideas & strategies will be put into action more efficiently and in a more timely manner...

[LARRY VIGGO]

Anna,I am one of the oldest people in this group,56. I just had the miserable experience of getting fired (again) April 17,a day that will live in infamy,like Pearl Harbor. I love this group because i am aware that there are so many people out there just like me,struggling. I dont log on as much as I should because I spend too much time crying. I love my wife,and she tries to understand,but only folks in this group really "get it".

[Anna Newman]

Hi Larry,
I'm so sorry to hear you lost your job. I've been there before and know the pain of it well. I hope you'll soon find a new one. On Twitter you can go to ijobjob and Jobsforkarma-they list jobs available in all kinds of fields and in all the states. If you look at their followers you will see many other job sites and recruiters etc. If you take a look you just may come accross something. I hope now that you've taken a moment to log on here again you will continue to come back and reconnect with the great people here that do "get it" and care. Thanks to Bryan and the other great folks here, I have learned that none of us has to walk alone and the support you get here can be so meaningful and helpful. Sharing your feelings here is better than being alone in the silence. I'll listen to you Larry. I get it, too. :]

[LARRY VIGGO]

Anna,I have been self-employed for virtually all my working life and I will survive. The hardest part is the anger. How do you deal with the anger. I am afraid I dont deal with that too well. You have no idea how happy you have made me that we can be REAL friends overcoming and understanding unique challenges What is the biggest challenge in your life right now?