Medication Holidays?

[Miss K]

I see people post online a lot about taking "holidays" from their ADHD medications because they like just being able to "be" without the medication, or because they feel more relaxed when they're not on it, and I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this. I just responded to a post on Jane's blog over at ADDitude actually about this very issue and it's got me thinking about this.

See, my normal state of being is actually very anxious. I feel bombarded by all kinds of details, sounds, sights, I literally can't "not notice" them and then ADHD means I have difficulty prioritizing them. As I say to my therapist, I just put them all at the TOP of the list and that's a real problem! Imagine the countless paths to disaster when your brain works that way, lol. I'm harder than I need to be on myself for the sake of humor, but you really can't have everything always at the top of the list, it just isn't possible...so you can see that I don't really have a problem with starting things, just being able to manage them all (or say no to them in the first place).

For me, learning to be a healthy ADHDer means that I am learning to me MORE laid back, MORE calm, and less over-committed, which I am making great strides at. It also means I am using new organizational tools, and trying new ways of working and motivating myself. It also means...that I am using medication to help me to be able to make different kinds of choices.

When I take my ADHD medication...I feel more calm. It's like a breeze blows across my brain and I am suddenly in a slightly better mood. I have the same high energy I always have, but I feel able to focus it a little more and in one or two directions rather than everywhere at once. I PREFER how I feel being ON the medication to how I feel OFF. I do not feel addicted, I just feel that if given a choice I prefer to take the medication. There are days when I don't "need" to and I tried that this week and it was fine...I just felt like my normal self, less focused. But I like my relaxed self better, lol. So I think going forward, I'm going to take it most days, I'm a busy person and I could use that boost most days anyway as a result.

It makes me think about the reasons that we all seek diagnosis. I wonder...do more Adult ADHDers seek treatment because they're bothering other people, or bothering themselves? Because they feel impaired in relation to other people, or because they are frustrated with their own performance. I'm an oddball for sure, a little eccentric...but my diagnosis was purely the result of my own initiation. Yeah, there were things about me that puzzled others, and I "fit" better in some settings than others at this point in my life (though part of that is a certain "not giving a shit" acquired through age and part of it is being exhausted from covering up my ADHD)...and my lack of achievement relative to my seeming ability was a little shocking quite frankly. But I asked for help because I had reached my limit and couldn't cope anymore on my own, without intervention of some kind, and for me that means therapy (which I also LOVE) and medication (which I really like now that we seem to have found a decent combo for me).

And so I wonder...does the fact that I sought out treatment purely on my own request make it less likely that I am going to see the medication as something I need to take a vacation from? Or is it people' chemistry? I mean, Jane's description of herself off of meds, and mine could not be more different. I go-go-go 800 MPH no matter what so the difference between me on and off meds is that difference between me going hyperspeed calm or hyperspeed anxious...it's all the same speed, I just feel better on the drugs. She says she does not necessarily.

So...body chemistry? medication differences? reasons for seeking treatment? Or...and this is another thing I bat around from time to time...maybe they're going to discover in a few years that all of us ADHDers actually "have" different issues that haven't yet been clearly defined? And if that happens, maybe it will make more sense why some people dig the chemical intervention, and others don't?

Just curious about what other people think about this.

[sherry mulberry]

Yes Miss kay I wish everyone would be on their medicine and stay on it. I Have to stay on my medication or I will cimbing the walls and you best not piss me off. I have a friend right now that took herself off her medicine and she crashed this week really bad. She had dirty clothes everywhere and trash everywhere. I helped her pick things up and started laundry . And she went to counsling and to her phsychiatrist. She is still having a really ruff time. The medicine takes awhile to get in your system too. She is bi polor, I will be there for her but, I'm just now dealing with a death . So I can only give a little bit right now. it is like my emotions are into overload right now. I can only give so much of myself right now I got home I was so emotionally drained. well you keep taking those meds and have a blessed day. sherry

[Miss K]

I know I just posted this but I'm surprised there hasn't been more feedback, only because it seems to be a pretty common phenomenon.

Anyone? Anyone?

Sherry, sounds like your friend definitely needs to get back on her meds :) This brings up another interesting issue though...the meds for bipolar disorder are very different from the ones that are prescribed for ADHD. Most ADHD drugs (the stimulants anyway) don't really have to build up in your system...so the consequences I think are a little different from the consequences of taking a holiday from your bipolar meds.

Eh...I think? Anyone? I know I take medication for anxiety also, and THAT drug I do have to be careful to take every day at the same time, and not just stop taking it, or it can't really do its job...

[NerdyMommy]

Miss K - I'm the same way. I would NEVER willingly choose to take a medication holiday!! I hate how I feel without my meds. Unfortunately, somehow I wind up being without it at times (this being one of them) and it sucks - more so because, without my meds, my priorities are so screwy that I can't seem to call the dr and get my prescription fixed, even though I KNOW I need my meds!

My daughter is the same way, btw. We used to take her off her medication for the summers, but a few years ago she asked if she could stay on it during the summer, because she felt better when she was taking it. Since then, she hasn't taken any "holidays"... and she's much happier that way (so am I!)

[Michelle MacGregor]

Yeah, I don't really see the reason for a medication holiday FOR MYSELF! Personally I do feel better. I did try recently to increase my meds because I am still having difficulty initiating stuff, but upping by 10 mgs was to much and I was way too grumpy when I crashed. I think maybe possibly I need anti-depressent as well, but we will see, maybe just a non-long acting med in the afternoon....anyway, I digress.

I just think if the medication works for you, why wouldn't you take it? Like if insulin works to control diabetes it would be disastrous to just stop taking it....things go wrong you know.

I wonder if taking medication holidays for some would be because they feel less able to access creativity while taking this "calming" medication? Or maybe they just end up on a med that has side effects that are so uncomfortable that they need to stop taking it once in a while? Or maybe sleep issues? Like if you cannot sleep it makes ADD worse, but ADD medication can exacerbate sleep issues, so some people might not take it on the weekends so that they can get a little more sleep to feel more balanced the rest of the week?

I hadn't responded because I hadn't seen the post. But seriously, my husband would be pretty annoyed too if I took medication holidays....

[Miss K]

I am just fascinated because I feel like the way I would describe my experience on meds is very different from many that I read. Heh...I feel MORE creative, less cranky. I should just be grateful and quit asking so many questions, lol!

[spacecatpj]

Miss K,

I personally enjoy all of the questions you ask because it sparks such intriguing discussions!! I can honestly say, I've experienced a lot of "AHA - I know what you mean" moments and moments of, "Hmmmmm, I've never thought about it that way before" moments (which is very beneficial for me because it expands my way of thinking).

As far as medications are concerned, I haven't been on my ADHD medication (Adderall XR 30 mg) for very long, and I also take medications for depression/anxiety. However, for the short period of time that I've been on Adderall XR, I can unabashedly say I feel soooooooo much better (calmer) and my mind isn't racing at the speed of light with all the things I need to do/have to do/want to do (although I still have a lot of thoughts rattling around in my head, the speed and intensity of these thoughts aren't nearly as intensive as they used to be before I was placed on Adderall XR). One of the best benefits of my being placed on Adderall XR is I'm not standing on edge ready to fly off the handle or bite somebody's head off, and I'm not micro-seconds away from telling somebody (e.g., my boss or anybody else I feel I have to remotely report to) to *!#%!@! off!! That is a priceless gift to me as far as I'm concerned!! I love the way Sherry M. described it when she said that if somebody took her off her meds, she'd be climbing the walls and you best not piss her off because I think that best sums it up for me as well. I'm still struggling with "brain fog," lack of concentration, forgetfulness, and etc., but I'm certainly a lot better on my medication and I shudder to think of ever going back to the way I was before being placed on Adderall XR. From my perspective, If somebody put me on a medication holiday, it would definitely be an UGLY situation because I don't want to go through life feeling the way I used to.

In closing, I hope you keep asking questions, Miss K, as I certainly benefit from the discussions that spring up from them (plus it exudes your vibrant spirit and creativity).

[Miss K]

Don't worry, I have ADHD, I can't STOP myself from asking questions...all the time...haha...

I had a really weird experience today. I took a 50mg Vyvanse instead of my usual 70mg. I knew that I didn't need turbo focus where I was going today, but my anti-anxiety meds make me sleepy if I don't take the Vyvanse at all...so I took the 50. Wow, what a mistake. Before I took it I felt foggy and frustrated because I felt like I couldn't wake up. Then I took it and felt a little better, but not as good as the 70mg...by 4 in the afternoon (way before the 70mg poops out on me) I felt so chaotic in the brain that I was almost panicking. It was so bad that I took an ativan and even that only just barely took the edge off. Yuck! Back to the 70mgs for me!

What's funny is that I like the calm so much now that I really do freak out when I don't get that relief. I lived for so long with that chaos in my brain but now that I know what calm feels like, I really don't want to go back....it seems worse now because before, I had no comparison, haha...