OVER REACTING & ADHD.....

[DANA]

Have you been told by others that you "over react" and that you are highly emotional? If so, do you believe that ADHD is the root cause of this type of behavior?

All of my life, I have been told by my friends and family that I am very emotional and that I over react too much. Of course, this comment has brought me to question why I over react?

I try to make sense of it by questioning if this is mostly an ADHD issue, a hormonal issue, my personality or that I am simply very sensitive? Does my gender make it all the more obvious since females are socially accepted for being "emotional" or does gender have absolutely nothing to do with it?

Do any guys who are ADD/ADHD relate to over reacting or being emotional? If so, do you purposely try to change the way you react and respond to others? How does this effect your relationships with family, friends and co-workers?

Through the years, I have made serious attempts to maintain more control over my responses and emotions with others. There are times in which I am easily able to remain calm and not over react. However, in all honesty, if a conflict occurs, it is much more challenging for me to remain "detached" from my emotions.

The interesting thing that I noticed is that when I am at work, if I have a difficult client who is outspoken, rude or unpleasant, I am able to detach myself much more easily. I put on a big smile, I take a deep, slow breath and I continue providing excellent service, regardless how ticked off I may feel on the inside.

Being able to keep my reactions and responses in control at work has been very beneficial for me. It has proved to my supervisor and co-workers that I am very capable of handling negative situations with the public without losing it or shooting off my mouth.

What mystifies me is why I am unable to continue controlling my responses and emotions at home or with close friends? Why am I capable of detaching myself at work, but not when I with my children, family or friends? Does anyone else have the same concerns?

[Chanchiluv]

I have noticed that I also have these issues, especially in the week or so before "Aunt Flo" shows up.

I also can usually keep it together at work, but have an extra hard time at home. I think this is due to two factors.

One, we feel more comfortable with the people we live with (ie: family, spouse, etc...) and feel we can "let down our hair" or show our true selves to them versus outsiders.

Second, because these people know us so well, they really know how to "push our buttons!" LOL No one gets me more upset than my kids and my spouse. And it's not like they do it on purpose or something; it's just part of what happens when you know/love someone so well. (It also doesn't help that we ALL have ADHD in my family - all FOUR of us!) :-)

I was going to bring up my mood swings and other issues I have noticed when I see my psychiatrist in October. I have definitely seen an increase in my ADHD symptoms the week or so before "Aunt Flo" rears her ugly head! I am 38, and I have only started noticing this in the last 6 months or so. Beginning to think maybe it's the start of perimenopause....

HTH! :-) Linda

[DANA]

Chanchiluv, I agree with you about feeling more comfortable around our family and friends. Also, you are right on target saying that our family & friends know exactly how to "push our buttons!" Boy, do they ever!!!!

Your family sounds similar to my family because me and my three kids have ADHD. That may be a good reason why emotions may run rather loud and strong at times in our home? Females with hormonal challenges adds a whole new aspect to the environment!!! (CAUTION: FEMALE WITH PMS!)

If you are 38 years old, it is very possible that you are experiencing perimenopause. I sympathize with you and I understand the hormonal havok! This adds so much more stress into our lives and it only seems to exaggerate the ADHD symptoms to a higher degree.

Did you know that some doctors prescribe Prozac for PMS and hormone difficulties? Yes, it is a wonderful medication to reduce anxiety, PMS, depression and anger issues. Some females only take the Prozac two weeks prior to their period. That is the crucial time when hormone dips in progesterone, estrogen and testosterone begin.

I am taking a low dose of Prozac and it does help minimize negative symptoms. I had better results when I was taking a higher dose, but I also experienced some negative side effects so I am staying with the lower dose. It is worth checking out with your psychiatrist, family doctor or gynecologist!

Another idea is using natural progesterone cream on your skin. Natural progesterone cream helps to minimize permenopausal symptoms, mood swings, painful or heavy periods and there are usually no negative side effects. It can be purchased at a local wellness shop or GNC.

[Jenny01]

Hi again Dana! Happy Friday! I hope you have something lovely planned for the weekend :) I too have been told something similar, I guess I've noticed it also. It's that When it's good, it's GOOOD, when it's bad, it's BAD. And since learning my diagnosis, I have replayed many things in my mind and can see, yes, where tons of my "issues", if you will, come from. ADHD. Similar along the lines that I do things excessively, from cleaning, to drinking pop. And I have to have all my things very organized, ducks in a row, or I'm miserable, but now I know it's not OCD, it's my friend ADHD. BECAUSE, when they aren't all in a row, things whirlwind and I feel like I'm running in circles. Same way I clean my house and do things in my day. And when I have to "break routine", it makes it very hard. Again, not OCD, but ADHD, because over the years, I just KNOW things must go a certain way to be kept in order.

And so that is currenlty "my work". I am a homemaker. And staying on routine and on task is part of my "rules" I created for myself when I finally admitted to myself I wasn't returning to work for awhiel. At work, we are taught these "rules" from day 1 and have a schedule to go by, etc etc. When we're @ home, unless we live in a boot camp, there's not so much structure and it makes perfect sense because I can roll with it on the phone. I don't know about in person, but before, on the phone, I know what my guidelines for my job are, I am highly empathetic and understanding, on task and focused on my "stats" if you will. And then I think another aspect for us here on this site is that we probably have a little more emotional baggage, due to our gift. And self discipline is just another tool we need to learn to use.

Anyway....So, I guess my answer to your question is yes, I believe problems we face like these everyday do pertain to our ADHD. I am a very detailed person with things like this and may sometimes over-analyze, but I can remember thinking as a teen, talking about my life that I believe there is always one place our beliefs and experiences down the road start from. Well, little did I know @ that time, that I have ADHD. Now I do and am working to learn more and more everyday! But I am elated to be back on AXR, I know that. I think it does help with mood/ patience as well honestly. But I still have to take Zoloft now, because I know what my mood does when I don't :( Which is sad cause I quit taking it years ago, with fear of dependency. So then a sad part too, is yes, meds help, but we can become irritable much easier when they've worn I think.

BUT @ this point, I trying to reprogram my thinking in the day and show more patience and be the happy go lucky girl I love to be, only all the time, instead of just when I'm over stimulated! hahha. I cry and cry these days thinking back. It's a cruel world out there sometimes and especially when you're a kid.

Babbla Babble Babble. Have a lovely day DANA! (@)'-,--

[sherry mulberry]

I love the word over-analyze I think that is my life . I don't know what emotion is going to come out each time I talk. I wish I could control my mouth all the time, or my emotions. I'm yelling at people one minute and next crying . I feel like I'm going through the change but, that can't be it I had a hystroctomy. And yes I understand the cleaning any time of the day or night . It seems my mind goes almost manic at night about the same time. I'm on the computer , cleaning or just reading .Usually not reading to much I can't focus on it really well when I'm like that. I use to be a stay at home mom so I definetly understand the orginizing stuff. I use to always orginize my kids drawers all the time. And making sure everything was in each spot every night before I went to bed. Now I really remember back how much I really did that . I have two boys so I would be picking up and orginzing their things all day long. Now I know why I was so wore out in the evening when my husband came home. So thanks jenny and Dana for bringing all this up it has helped me relize and understand my life a little better now. sherry

[Michelle MacGregor]

Sherry just because you had an hysterectomy does not mean you couldn't still be going through the change! It is your ovaries that emit the hormones in your body, estrogen all of the time and progesterone after you ovulate. If your ovaries were intact after the hysterectomy then you would still have had hormones in your body. If they are there, it would bear checking out because the change can case your previous ADD medications to not work properly or need dosage adjustments. Also, low estrogen can cause further issues with your thyroid, which can affect your ADHD too. You might even want to consider using hormone replacement, I know it has helped stabilize me tremendously. Just two thoughts that you can check out (oh, and ADHD went from fairly mild, did OK most of the time to unmangageable except with medication during the perimenopause phase and I didn't know it. I thought that I was losing my mind. My hair changed, my skin and muscle tone changed, my fingernails changed. My eyesight changed - my ability to concentrate totally diminished and I couldn't sleep even more than before. All of this went on between when my son was born and when I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure and Menopause at 37-38).

See your doc - they can help if you are feeling less in control than you used to.

[sherry mulberry]

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that . It is so hard to go through all that . I don't have my overies they took them out too. I'm on estrogen .But, what your saying it is making me wonder if I need a higher dosage. thanks for response. and you take care . sherry

[DANA]

Hi Michelle!

I have a question for you: Have you been using hormone replacement therapy or are you using bio-identical hormones? How has this improved your health? Are there any negative side effects? I understand exactly what you were saying about how your hair has changed, you skin your fingernails and even your eye sight! I relate to this and can not believe these crazy changes!

[Michelle MacGregor]

Dana, I am just taking a birth control pill that I take for three months and then take a week off. I have a bit more trouble with moodiness towards the end when the progesterone kicks in, but mostly it is OK. My psychiatrist recommended bioidenticals but then my GYN would not prescribe them - said that there have been no studies to prove that they are safe...oh well, I figure the bcp makes me feel ok, I wish there was a bit more estrogen and maybe a little testosterone so I would have SOME sex drive, but other than that they are OK. The health benefits are amazing. My skin gets better when I take them, I am happier and I have an easier time sleeping. Because I am just turning 40 in October, I feel like I can get away with taking them for a while. I think frankly that estrogen promotes your bodies' production of collagen which is the elastic part of your cells - this changes everything from muscle tone and strength to eyesight and memory...I think it is the secret elixer personally - only problem is the cancer thing...so we will see how long the docs will let me continue to take HRT...oh, my asthma is better too and I get fewer colds and they last a shorter length of time.

[DANA]

Michelle, I have not heard of a birth control pill that you only take for three months and then take a week off. There is always something new & improved!

I have heard excellent things about bio-identical hormones and my OB/GYN did agree to approve it, but after four months of trying it, I had such a negative reaction that I discontinue it!

If you are looking for an increase in sex drive, I have tried organic Maca root, which has been used for thousands of years by the natives in Peru. I heard that it is good for individuals needing to increase energy, endurance and want to lose weight, but I discovered that it also enhances sex drive. Here is some information about it:

# Increase energy and endurance.
# Increase stamina.
# Alleviate chronic fatigue.
# Improve sexual function in both men and women.
# Enhance fertility.
# Reduce hormonal dysfunction during menopause.
# Regulate hormonal irregularities.
# Alleviate depression.
# Increase sense of well being.
# Reduce anxiety and stress.
# Increase circulation.
# Speed wound healing.
# Enhance memory, learning, and mental agility.
# Good for anemia, rickets, osteomalacia, and stomach cancer.
# Good for healthy teeth and bones.
# Acts as a fungicide and anti-bacterial agent.
# Acts as an antioxidant.
# Is an alternative to anabolic steroids, helps to build muscle.
# Is non addictive.

When you began using this birth control pill, did you gain weight? Also, do you have a difficult time losing weight? Many females complain of bcp causing weight gain.

That is good news to hear that the bcp help with promoting nicer skin, better eyesight and memory! My OB/GYN said that he does NOT want me to take synthetic hormones. For many years, topical progesterone cream did wonders for my hormones, but not anymore. It also helped with smoother cycles, less pain and increasing the sex drive.

I wish that I could just purchase a "secret elixer" of estrogen right now! Aging is not always so graceful!!!

[Jenny01]

Oh yes, for some reason, I am not quite seeing where other posters post b4 mine. So, I totally agree with Chanchiluv with the monthly cycle. As my ADHD whirlwinded over the past few years, so has pms also! :( Sad but it has. So, between O time, Transition to and Week of, I have about 1 week feeling good.

And yes yes about the homelife, totally agree. Because when we aren't comfortable, obviously there is a reason. AND sometimes we may act on the impulse of being angry when we are uncomfortable (as I did last night), or hold so much in that we may soon explode or it trickles out little by little as we stomp around the house. ;-)

This site is wonderful. EVERY SINGLE POST I READ, I CAN RELATE TO and feel like there's a whole new light for me. And maybe, I can actually "Do as I say" with being able to type it out, as I can give great, whole hearted advice, but until I go to couseling and realize "I knew that", I don't follow things to take care of me. And that's what we need to do. <3

[Michelle MacGregor]

Hi Jenny O, the entire reason that I figured out I have ADD is that I went through early menopause. It started shortly after I had my son and was exacerbated by a number of other life events...anyway, I had always relied on my extremely good memory (not working) to keep the things that I need to do in my head and to get them done. Some things were forgotten, but not to the extent they were forgotten after I went through menopause!

I think that every women needs to have their psychologist on standby because when menopause hits, if you are not taking hormone replacement, then the symptoms get far worse. You can then add to that lethargy, extreme anger and wierd hair!

Sorry, I digress, but hormones have a tremendous impact on ADD! Estrogen is a sort of feel-good hormone and when we are only left with testosterone and small bits of progesterone it makes managing moods much more difficult. I am trying to get the doctors to put me on bioidentical hormones for menopause (this started at 36 I will 40 in October).

[DANA]

Michelle,

I totally relate to the horrid hormones! Last October, my gynecologist informed me that my blood work showed that I am very low in Estrogen and that I am peri-menopausal, but could be heading straight for menopause.

I decided to look into bio-identical hormones at a compounding pharmacy. I had heard such great things from other females so I thought it was worth a try. However, what happened was not what I had expected.

When I started on bio-identical hormones, I expected to feel much better since I would be taking a natural form of hormones. I thought that it would balance my body and I would be feeling great!

Wrong!!! Instead of feeling good, I started having worse hot flashes. No joke! Then I started missing my period and getting irritable and major PMS 24/7. It was a nightmare!

To make a long story short, after taking bio-identical hormones for 3-4 months, my female cycle was so MESSED UP! My body was ten times worse than when I started! I was very upset and I had tried to discuss my concerns with the pharmacy, but the pharmacist would not listen to me. Once my period was several months late, I felt much worse and I was completely unsatisfied with the pharmacy, I discontinue using bio-identical hormones.

The one thing that has helped is OTC called EXTRA STRENGTH ESTROVEN at Rite Aid or a local pharmacy. It contains 80 mg of black cohosh, as well as vitamins and herbs to minimize negative perimenopause symptoms. It works well and I am very happy with it!

What works fantastic for mood swings, PMS, anxiety and major stress is called L-Theanine. It could be purchased at a wellness shop. It does help relax me, but not to the degree of falling a sleep. It is an absolute lifesaver!!!