ADD Support Group Leaders

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Comment by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, SCAC on December 11, 2012 at 10:55pm

Hey all!  I'm still playing catch-up from the events of the last year that suddenly got crazy when Kate Kelly got sick, but expect to have at least a FEW spare nano-seconds to come back to join the ADDerWorld crew now and then.

A couple of QUICK comments to some of the things I saw in the comments. 

1-POSTING RULES: we must adhere to Bryan's idea of what's acceptable, of course, but beyond that, I say anything goes but make-wrong.  If YOU think it's appropriate and on-topic, I'll bet you're not the ONLY one who will find it so.

2-Balance of agenda and "free-flow" in groups.  We all know how much ADDers hate the strait-jackets of strict agenda, and how MUCH it helps to tell our stories and offer help to others when we hear *their* stories, so my thinking is to do a great deal less in the formalized structure vein than your first instinct.

Think of your role more as referee than educator and you'll probably hit it just right.

THAT SAID, it is always wise to organize around the structure of a topic (for focus), whether it is a chapter of One Boy's Struggle (like Sharon) or a question or two (like Kat).  

But don't expect the session to REMAIN on topic ::VERY big grin:: or you'll find yourself in the role of Drill Sergeant and you'll hate it.

As the moderator, have a couple of segues ready to insert whenever a long-winded comment threatens to derail the group or start a war ::lol::

Something like, "GREAT comment, Bob, I'm going to stop you for now to hear from some of the others who might have come eager to talk about the topic I posted, but remind me after the session to include this in the future so we can all ring in." - in YOUR words, tailored to YOUR group - prepared is the key here (learned the hard way!).  Deciding when to jump in and what to say in the moment will be *difficult to impossible.*

Last thought: If most of the rest of your group wants to talk about some other topic, go with the flow.  One of the BEST ADD Hours™ IMHO (and that of almost all of those who were there), was one that got "derailed" talking about ordering from a menu, which led to difficulties with choice and decision overall.

Looking back, the only thing I, personally, would have done differently was to insert a few words to refocus the group around the NEW topic to short circuit any feelings that they weren't "doing it right."  Maybe a comment like, "THIS is a hot topic - if there aren't any objections to tabling the original one so we can see where this goes, lets talk about THIS instead!"

LAST and related thought/comment: You will probably find it helpful to begin with a Welcome to newcomers, followed by *a few* BASIC ground rules (repeated at the top of every session) - like No Make-Wrong, One person and a time and I will moderate, OK to do what you must to stay focused as long as it doesn't make it more difficult for others (i.e., pacing at the back of the room, a quick trip to the loo, etc. - they'll figure it out on their own, and you can "course correct" in private) 

If your group meets RIGHT after work (or at a time some may be missing dinner), you might want a few words about the policy on food and drink, adding "as long as you don't leave your mess for anyone else to clean up and as long as you can chew quietly (said with a grin)" if your venue can allow eats & drinks.  If it does NOT, a quick comment that begins with "Unfortunately, this venue does not permit us to . . ." so that you don't have to field objections or make anybody wrong if they DO eat, etc.

Those are MY thoughts for now.  Anybody else?  What's YOUR experience?

xx,

mgh

Comment by Robert Brad on October 9, 2012 at 9:55pm

Hi Madelyn: We probably met. .I'm the webmaster & publicist for the group;)

Our website id http://maaddsg.org...

@Bob - if your support group is the one started by Paul Jaffe, I not only have been there, I've been a speaker.  GREAT group.  Hi to Paul for me, if he's still involved.  Have WE met?

Comment by Sharon St. John on September 14, 2012 at 6:46pm

I certainly don't make rules about what can be posted. However, it seems to me, anything that will help an ADDer who still suffers could be posted here.

Comment by Lorí Lea Harley on September 4, 2012 at 4:41am

@Madelyn:  I completely understand, you are always in my thoughts, you have been in my heart for years, take your time...  I am not going anywhere. I am fully behind you though, supporting you and also Kate and family and friends.  We will get back to 'business' when the time is right.

Could not believe the time of your post, I do hope you are getting some sleep some time.  And eating.

Much love and thoughts, I will NEVER give up on you.

xxx

Comment by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, SCAC on September 4, 2012 at 3:34am

I am SO thrilled to see that you all are actively supporting one another - and my apologies for being MIA since Kate Kelly's cancer dx. Things are coming to a head now, so nothing in my schedule gets to go in INK at this time, but I do plan to return to active participation here (and on all of ADDerWorld) when things calm down -- at least a BIT!

@Bob - if your support group is the one started by Paul Jaffe, I not only have been there, I've been a speaker.  GREAT group.  Hi to Paul for me, if he's still involved.  Have WE met?

@Lori - finally able to spend a moment on long-overdue email catch-up & saw a notice that you had joined this group - yaaaaaay!  We have much to catch up on, and I know I promised you some files.  Haven't forgotten, simply no time since January.  This, too, shall pass!  Don't give up on me.

@Kathy - SO pleased to see you here as well (though not at ALL surprised)

@Margaret - LOVE MADD ADDers!  Great niche for a support group, too.

@Kat - I'm in Cincinnati - not that Cleveland is exactly next door, but not SO far away that it is impossible to believe I might show up some day ::grin::

@Sharon - If you haven't been to the CaringBridge lately, I want to give you a heads up that things are changing very rapidly with Kate, now in Seattle, probl'y won't be returning to Cincy.  I know how close you feel to her, so I'm sure we are both reeling in similar fashions.

@Doug & anyone I inadvertantly left out (long day, 4:30 AM here, so my brain is running on about a neuron and a half).  Welcome, and thanks for stepping up ALL of you - I'm looking forward to getting to really know EVERYONE here in the near future.

@Bryan - I have not deserted you either, and am keeping tabs on the great stuff going on here from afar.  As ALWAYS, I'm so impressed.  Wrong thread, but on my blog is "Brain-based booklist" if you are still searching for same-- feel free to grab it (ditto anything, really - for YOU, the moon!).  Updates ongoing, btw (as I have time).

btw- Despite the fact that my ADDerWorld blogsite has languished since January, my sig below is the one I use **everywhere** I comment - my teensy bit for what I tell everyone is "the ADD FaceBook!"  I so love this site.

Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CMC, SCAC, MCC 
- cofounder of the ADD Coaching field -
(blogging at ADDandSoMuchMore and ADDerWorld - dot com!)
"It takes a village to educate a world!"

Comment by Kathy Brownlow on April 9, 2012 at 10:26pm

Hi Madelyn and members here...
I am starting up a women's support/self help group, first meeting April 25th. Some people (like you Margaret!) have stressed that there be a balance between the 'free flow' and focus on a certain topic...has anyone got any advice on 'issues' that have arisen in their groups, and you had to deal with them?

Comment by Kat on March 21, 2012 at 6:56pm

Margaret, is it a free flowing forum or do you have an agenda?  My first meeting is coming up and I'm curious how it will go.  I've been to several support group meetings that an ADHD coach leads and they are productive but structured.  I love that we learn great skills or insight at these events but every once in a while I want to feel like someone other than a person on a website or podcast "get" me!  I don't disclose at work and only to close friends so this I'm really looking forward to this real life interaction! 

Comment by Margaret on March 20, 2012 at 8:25am

I started a support group for Moms of ADHD kids. Most of the Moms are ADHD as well - we call ourselves the MADD ADDers. (basically ADD moms of ADHD kids, even though not all the moms are ADHD).

We meet monthly, taking turns hosting. It is very productive, and people come up with and exchange great ideas and knowlege.

Comment by Kat on March 14, 2012 at 9:24pm

Greetings Ladies, 

I recently took over a meetup.com group called "The Cleveland Adult ADHD Group"  It's not a very catchy name : ) The ADDer in me would have certainly called it something a little more creative.  Regardless, I joined last month only to get a notice the following month that it would be a defunct group if someone didn't step up as an organizer.  I saw 75+ members and thought, "oh, heeell no! These people should not be without an outlet, resources and a sense of community"  I invited everyone to the ADHD Support Group I attend led by Coach Joyce Kubik and a few attended, and even more exciting, a few of the Support Group folks signed up for the meetup.com group.  In reading through old meeting notes, I saw that only a few members were active (to be expected with ADDers, right?  My goal is to recruit more members and re-engerize some of the older members.  I have my first meeting planned for the 24th.  I am open to ideas, comments and suggestions to make this a successful venture for everyone.  This is the agenda: 

We are alive and WELL!  

Loose agenda will be: 

Introductions (I may save this for the end, in case we have latecomers) 

• Top 2-3 ways ADHD has negatively impacted your life

I'm hoping this will give me ideas on future meetings. 

• Top 2-3 ways ADHD has positively impacted your life

My goal is for all of us to come to a place that we view this as a gift!

• Top 2-3 best tools you've found for managing ADHD

I'll bet we can each walk away with 1 idea that we can use! 

• Future meeting suggestion: topics, locations, etc. 

I look forward to seeing you all there! 

Comment by Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, SCAC on December 23, 2011 at 5:51pm

Sharon and I have decided to get together once the holidays are over to talk about working together with this group.  Have a Happy Holiday - whatever you celebrate around the time of the Winter Solstice - and watch ADDerWorld after 12th Nite (which is Jan 6, btw - 12 Days AFTER 12/25) -- "ADD time" - we'll post an announcement!

xoxoxoxo,

mgh

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