ADDers in Counseling / Therapy

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Comment by Joan Azarva on October 14, 2009 at 11:06am

I am the parent of an LD/ADD son, and it seems like yesterday that I was in the trenches. I remember the anxiety in 12th grade, feeling uncertain about whether my son could "do" college (he WANTED to go).

Fortunately, besides being a parent, I've also worked with LD students on the college level since 1993, 13 of those years as a college Learning Specialist. In addition, I have my Master's Degree in Education from the University of PA, one of the finest schools in the country.

As a result, I KNEW how to prepare my son, how to "vet" colleges (you can't believe what they tell you or what you read on their website), how to determine how much support my son would need, how to make the best match, and those decisions and strategies that bode for college success. My son, never a "student", graduated college successfully and obtained a job in his field.

Most students with LD fail on the college level - the statistics are abysmal. The ONLY way we can change this is to prepare them for college's unique challenges - it is VERY different from high school!

If you are the parent of a teen in grades 9 - 12 and would like a free teleseminar, "How College Savvy Are You", register at: http://www.conquercollegewithld.com/coaching.html. This is a coaching course - the first lesson is FREE for everyone, with no payment due, and no obligation to continue.

You can also benefit from my totally free subscription list that sends out high-quality weekly articles pertaining to postsecondary transition -- http://www.conquercollegewithld.com.

I have been passionate about college success for our kids since seeing my own son do it. His victory was not accidental, however; it was the result of difficult and deliberate decisions, all worth it in the end.

If your teen is of normal intelligence, WANTS to go to college, acknowledges his LD, and will accept help, success is PROBABLE..... assuming you have all your "ducks in a row".

Comment by Jeremy Dyer on August 26, 2009 at 7:33pm

Yes I have found the website that was spoken of, unfortunately it is only in western canada and as some of you may know canada is fairly large are of land soo.... thanks anyways, and I see your points about the friends and therapy. It may be more benificail I think because it is someone who knows my background, about me and my history, however they would project their bias' onto it so maybe just professional help is good.

Speaking of which i am totally pee'd because apperantly my appointment with the one psyciatrist that listens to me was yesterday not tonight! yarrr

Anyways, thanks for the help regardless!

Comment by DANA on August 26, 2009 at 2:27pm

Jeremy, I found CHADD in Canada and the USA. Have you checked on your computer to google it? Just type the words CHADD in Canada and it will provide the official link.

Lisa, thanks for sharing about your friend who has the gift for healing. I think that friends get too emotionally involved in our lives so that is why I try to steer clear of major advice from them. As far as the ADHD energy, I think that there are pro's and con's to the energy!!!

Comment by DANA on August 26, 2009 at 2:21pm

Jeremy, I am pretty sure that CHADD may have originated in the USA, but I am not 100% positive. There may possibly be other types of ADHD groups available and it is worth looking into.

Lisa, that is very interesting that your friend who has the ability to do healing work is focusing right on your ADHD energy. I like my ADHD energy and I think it makes me the person who I am. Without it, I would not be myself.

Thanks for sharing that information about friends!

Comment by Lisa Forman on August 26, 2009 at 1:22am

I agree with Dana. Friends are not good for therapy of any kind. I have a friend who is a healer, yes I now believe that she is very sensitive to peoples energy. Problem is that she focuses on the energy that comes out of me - instead of the behavior that is uncomfortable for her. So she is actually projecting back on to me. And really the energy that she speaks of is my ADHD energy that is just manifested in not the best ways. It sucks when somebody says you need to get rid of That energy.

So watch out for friends. It could cause a lot of emeshment

Comment by Jeremy Dyer on August 24, 2009 at 8:56pm

thanks much you guys n gals :)

I've tried to keep up for the past couple of days especailly since it was my oldest friends wedding...but i wasn't able to go out and have fun with the ppl. just pretty much sat in the corner by meself and watched to 270 other ppl have fun :S

as u can guess why I am feeling cruddier and cruddier it is starting to really catch up to me. I wish most of all I would be able to have the meds that actually work for me, the doctors have decided that it's best I don't have those and those that say I should have them wont prescribe it because of an 'uneasy feeling'.

Guh, again though thanks folks.

P.s. is chadd canadian or american site?

Comment by DANA on August 21, 2009 at 10:55pm

Steven, you were so fortunate to have discovered such an incredible group of people in Colorado to be your "spiritual family!" I can imagine how that must have been extremely meaningful, positive and comforting to know that you have caring people to rely on for support, advice and a little push whenever you need it to get right back on track.

Jeremy, I personally believe that a "neutral" person is a much better choice for counseling rather than a close friend. The reason that I feel this way is because a friend may become bias in opinions, judgmental without meaning to or offended if we do not choose to take their advice.
A "neutral" therapist is less likely to become personally involved in your problems, but a friend or relative is much more likely to become personally involved in your problems. Therefore, in my opinion, it is safer and more reliable to stick with an educated professional who will maintain a "neutral" stand during counseling sessions.

The one thing that I want to ask you, Jeremy, is whether you are interested in finding someone to help you resolve personal problems and manage ADHD or are you interested in finding someone who will help you in setting and accomplishing goals? Professional coaches and therapists are very different, especially because the coach is not paid to listen to all of your problems, obstacles or concerns. The purpose of a coach is to assist you in making realistic goals, providing you with helpful steps to achieve the goals and provide encouragement to cheer you onward to succeed. Therapists typically focus on personal problems, such as relationship challenges and helping you deal with stress, depression, anxiety as well as managing ADHD. Perhaps, once you narrow down what you truly need right now, you will be better able to decide on whether the best choice is a therapist or a coach?

If you have medical insurance, possibly a therapist would be covered? However, usually a professional coach is not paid by medical health insurance, but rather out of pocket. It is something to consider when making a decision about what is best for you, especially if professional coaching is expensive.

One last thing to consider that may not cost much money at all is to check into your local CHADD group to connect with other ADDer's and to check out the topics that they plan for each meeting. I have gone to CHADD groups and I have received some wonderful referrals, which has been helpful. Keep your chin up, Jeremy!!! I am rooting for you!

Comment by Steven Charles on August 21, 2009 at 2:25pm

Well Jeremy, going about finding friends or a positive community is far easier said than done, & a symptom of why this country seems to have gone mad....

I don't know what to tell you, I sure have not found it here (Atlanta), although I do have good friends who care about me, I do not hang with them very often, due to geography, and general "busyness" of everyone, another symptom....

The Meetup groups (Yahoo & Google both have "groups) is a great idea, since it is categorized by interests & geography...

Comment by Lisa Forman on August 21, 2009 at 1:46pm

Have you checked out meetup.com. It is a free social community that has events based on your interests. I've found a lot of cool stuff that I am interested in and have been attending some of the events. Check it out.

Comment by Jeremy Dyer on August 21, 2009 at 1:44pm

hmmm, very...enlightening :)

my next question I suppose would be "how do we go about getting or obtaining that?"

I think this would be an appropriate time to reveal that I am rubbish at making friends, let alone keeping any of them. Of 23 yrs and 2 months of living I have now, 3.5 friends. I say .5 because the two people I should be including are actually more family then friends, and thus those 2 = .5.

I have also included the 2 months of living since those two months helped me to realize the last 2 of my friends :(

Do you think this could be acheived better via aid by a counsilor or coach?

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