Finally took the bull by the horns

[Melissa Raines]

Well after many searches for a female shrink who is experienced is ADD/ ADHD adults , I have finally found one . It's taken me a while but I finally called her office today left a message with my name & number and stating that I am wishing to make an appoint and go from there . In the past I've seen many different kinds of Physcholgiest as well as family therophiest but never truly got to the root of all my issues , all the emotional issues that I have had for the last 10 yrs as well as some of the emotional issues that I have had since I was a little girl . Most of the therophiest that I have been to in the past never really took any time to get to know me for the person I am , all the therophiest that I have had , have been really quick to put me on medication for my ADD instead of trying to understand how my brain works as well as try to understand that I do not wish to take medication for my ADD so to supress my ADD , when what I want is to improve myself as a person , improve my ADD brain via vitamines . I am hoping & praying that this female shrink will be different and allow me to express my thoughts and feelings & understand where I am comming from .

[Cookie]

I couldn't find a therapist/counselor experienced in add adults, but have found one experienced with addictions, codependencey, compulsions, & violent behavior. Since a lot of my behaviors skirt the edges of some of those areas, I'm hoping she can help me. First appt is this week. Think its a crap shoot on finding a good counselor. Ah well.....keep on working on yourself eh?

[Melissa Raines]

Well cookie it's taken me months upon months to find a shrink that is experienced with ADD/ ADHD adults , especially here in Asheville NC , to say the least our mental health system is a mess so for me to find a shrink that works wth ADD/ ADHD adults , does couples counseling and take medicaid is an absolute miricle.

[Deb Z]

My first therapist was a woman. I specifically asked to see a woman and middle aged. I figured this would be someone I would feel comfortable with and someone who could relate to me. Of course, at the time, I didn't know I had ADD. I didn't even know there was such a thing as ADD without Hyperactivity (and I certainly was not Hyperactive). I saw her because I was having a stress/anxiety meltdown (which was diagnosed as a Major Depressive Episode). They also diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression. This was the result of years of untreated ADD (which I would not find out for a while). My Anxiety and depression did not get better with treatment and I had read that Generalized Anxiety was best treated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. My therapist didn't agree so I knew it was time to look for a new one. This time I thought I wanted to have a male therapist who was experienced in CBT. I choose a male, because I have social anxiety as well - especially when it came to men. I thought working with a male might help me to overcome that also.

It was a great mix from the start. He came highly recommended by my psychiatrist. Since he was at the same clinic as my previous therapist, he had access to all my previous records but choose not to look at them until after we had been together for a few weeks. He wanted to form his own opinions without being influenced by someone else. He asked a lot a questions about my family, etc. which my first therapist did not.

It's hard when you've never been through this process before to know "who is right" for you. They always say, if you don't feel comfortable with that person right from the start then keep going until you find someone you do feel comfortable with. Well, I felt comfortable with my first therapist. She was very nice and our talks were always comforting, but it took me a year to realize we weren't getting anywhere. So I also "took the bull by the horns", so to speak, I did my research and knew what I wanted.

I have not regretted my choice for a minute. This time, I really did know "right from the start" that we were going to click. The CBT was helping me to understand my distorted thinking and when I was soon after diagnosed with ADD I already had a head start on my treatment. I did go the drug route but may change when I feel I am able to (too many things changing in my life right now). He's not an ADD "expert" but certainly knows enough about it to be of enormous help to me.

I'm just so thankful that I finally got up the strength to insist on something I knew I wanted and needed. So I would say to anyone looking for a therapist, it's more than being comfortable with that person. You also want someone who "wants" to take the time to get to know all about you and your family and what it was like growing up, etc. Comfortable isn't enough..... You want to really like this person! If this person isn't someone you would want to hang out with (not in the literal sense) then I say, keep looking.

[Deb Z]

Sorry..... my reply's are always long! I seem to have this novel in my head that I have to try to edit down to 1 page or less every time I reply to a post.

I'm going to work on that!! Have a great rest of the weekend : )

[Cookie]

I have the same thing too and edit because I think its too long. A month down the road with my counselor, seems to be going well. She's maybe 10 yrs older than me. In past relationships she's used sex to find love, you know that trap a lot of women fall into. Its comforting to see past her education to see the person that struggles with life. It makes me see her as human instead of as omnipotent. I feel comfortable with her. Her relationship struggles help me to see that my issues aren't restricted to women w/ADD. I've never been to a therapist/counselor before and don't know what to expect or how to know if she's guiding me onto the right path.

We've been working on my relationship issues (have a hard time talking with the men in my relationships) and self esteem. Prior to the ADD I couldn't talk coherently because of the racing thoughts, so I wouldn't try and would walk away from relationships because I didn't know how to ask for what I wanted. I think she's helping to guide me in the right direction. Its hard when my negative self talk says its easier to walk away than deal, but I want to change so I tell my inner critic to shut up a lot lol. Recently read Sari Solden's Women with ADD. That helped a lot in understanding why I've done things, why my mom doesn't understand, why I'm attracted to certain men, etc. The medication I take has helped a lot in dealing with the issues ADD brings to a non-ADD world. I know medication and counseling will both help bring "healing" into my life.