ADDers in Counseling / Therapy

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Comment by Steven Charles on August 21, 2009 at 12:10pm

Jeremy, I think you hit the nail on the head, YES, we do need counselling "all the time", for it to be "enough"!

I think the underlying malaise, & major cause of our personal & societal dysfunction, is a lack of connection. We feel the opposite of what a spiritually enlightened life would entail, feeling at one with everyone, and everything. And because (especially so with those of us more "sensitive", or as MLK would say, "creatively maladjusted") we can sense this disconnection, we attempt to figure out how to feel "one", or "whole", unfortunately using our minds, which tends to run endlessly in circles, in pursuit of what others say will do it, or not come up with any path, thus creating further isolation & disconnection...

Since others can often see us better than we can, thus can point things out, especially those actions, behaviors, or thought processes that are leading us astray, the more we are in an environment of "family" or "community", the better we can spot personal detours/bad habits, & faster we can grow & develop more positive ones. Of course, this works best, when those doing so, are sincerely committed to our empowerment & growth, and who's critiques are given from a place of love & compassion, not as put-downs.

I once lived in a "spiritual family" situation, a long time ago, in the mountains of Colorado, with about 20-25 others. It was an incredible experience, on many levels, but the most was seeing in actual practice, how this concept is so very true. When you have others around that love & care about you, and are willing to let you know when they see you drifting off-course, a person can make amazing and very rapid changes.

We used to call it "sudden school" (of enlightenment), & that this way of life "speeds up one's karma". It would sometimes be so telepathic that a person could ask for someone to go down the road to help push someone's car, & the moment I would think, "I don't feel like doing that", he'd say, "why don't you go do it Steven"? :-)

Anyway, since then (& I've also had similar groups of friends, very close, if not actually sharing living space, where similar relationships existed), I just don't find "professional help", or any of the "retail consciousness-raising seminars" to be of any use. To have a therapist tell me to have such & such done by the next session, certainly has no more effect than an IRS deadline, why would it? What's the negative consequence if I don't? If I could just "do it", then I would, and going to a therapist, or taking any medication would not be a part of my life!

Anyway Jeremy, what my point is, is that having a real "support group", or even person, can be that "enough", since they would be that "all the time" that we as humans really do require.

Comment by Jeremy Dyer on August 20, 2009 at 8:17pm

great thanks much for the expediant reply i appreciate it much :)

i guess what I feel this question is about is the fact that I had been daignosed since the age of 6-ish but only a month and a bit ago have understood what AD/HD really is. prior to this I had unly understood the abbreviation and never read any further into it. the problem comes in that I feel as though i needed some coaching and therapy my whole life and was given it....but i had turned it away all of the time because I felt....alienated by it and didn't understand why I would have needed it.

Now I have about 22 yrs of therapy and coaching to catch up on, and as i'm sure you can relate, this whole topic is being extremely hyper-focused :( And to boot, I am not 'allowed' my meds that I know have worked for the past 5 yrs, I just never knew that it was medications :( and now its gone!

Comment by DANA on August 20, 2009 at 7:52pm

Jeremy, I think that there may be times in our lives in which we could feel the need to increase the counseling sessions to be able to address all of our concerns and to find some form of peace about what is going on in our lives. That is just one of my thoughts.....

Personally, I believe that to truly move onward to heal 100% from depression, anxiety, stress, anger or a traumatic experience, we need to be actively involved in discussing our experience, our feelings, how this may have affected others and so on. For someone to heal, you can not keep all the "stuff" buried inside. It must be exposed, regardless of how disturbing, uncomfortable or unpleasant it may be.

Journaling could be done independently to further your healing. Some people feel better by writing about their pain, thoughts, feelings or the problem. Others may consider a creative outlet, such as drawing, painting, building something, making something, taking photographs, or seeking some form of creativity to help you express yourself.

How I know my therapist is good or the right match for my personality and concern is that they would have to be sensitive, understanding, have knowledge about what my problem is, not be judgmental, not be rude or constantly interrupting me or constantly sharing their own challenges. (It is amazing how many therapists share details about their life that are so unnecessary!)

If a therapist is causing you to feel nervous, anxious, defensive, offended, embarrassed, humiliated, angered, outraged, uncomfortable or downright frustrated, I would suggest that this is NOT a healthy situation and to find yourself another therapist. Always trust your initial instinct because it is usually always right!

Comment by Jeremy Dyer on August 20, 2009 at 7:28pm

I had a question, to everybody and anybody. Is it just me or do others feel the need that there isn't enough counselling, there can't be enough. Enough would be there virtually all of the time?

I, myself understand that part of me as being one of my 'coping' mechanisms, usually by 10 or more perpectives at once. I analyze everything to death, my mind just does it on it's own. :( I analize everything so much that the only way I am able to dump it is to analize the efficency level, if i'm analyzing and not changing that much then its as done as done can be.

Also a question on the same note as my first, "when do you know if you have a good therapist?" or the right one if you will ?

Comment by Lisa Forman on June 14, 2009 at 12:49pm

Clarissa,

I've been playing music for a while, and have know deep inside that path and passion involves music; just didn't have the focus. I have a few people I know doing alternative healing and some schools near me that are involved in Sound Healing.

I started checking out other programs online.

May years ago I learned that tribal african doctors will perscribe specific drum rhythms depending upon a persons energy level and illness. That was over 10 years ago.

Lisa

Comment by Clarissa Kelly on June 13, 2009 at 6:33pm

Wow Lisa, that Sound Healing would be amazing, I have no doubt that sooooo many people could benefit from it (ADD or not!). I sometimes feel that we have an ability to perceive things that others don't so that we can find new ways of healing people and the planet. It's like, if things don't cause us issues, we don't find new ways of doing things.

There is so much stress in the world, we have just been touched by it more than others. It's time to use our sensitivities to heal others and heal ourselves in the process. Lovely to get to know you, too! :)

By the way, how did you go about finding a "sound healing program?" I'd love to look into it as well.

Comment by Lisa Forman on June 13, 2009 at 3:17pm

I was thinking about getting coach, but find they only focus on the physical organizations. I really feel like I am coming out of a cloud of denial after most of my life.

Thank you all for supporting me, since don't have anybody close in my life. It's great to at least have this forum.

I am starting a sound healing program in the fall and believe this is my next path of healing. I play didgeridoo and drums. Ideally I would like to work with kids and elders and create programs to use my MA in curriculum design. There is hope!!!

Comment by Clarissa Kelly on June 13, 2009 at 11:51am

LIsa, your idea to see a Somatic therapist sounds great! I've wondered about something like that . And also to get cognitive help is a big plus. My therapist is starting cognitive stuff with me, and I am going to read some books on it, too.

The inner noise can be helped by practicing "being present" but that is something that does take practice. Try to listen to or read Eckhart Tolle. I think meditation also makes a HUGE difference to me, and keeping myself in a routine, spending time in nature (or gardening), and not overdoing the caffeine and sugar! It is a lot of small things, I think, that help the ADDer, not any one big thing that can "fix" us or any one person who can guide us.

And Trust your Intuition! Though it sounds like you already are. :)

Comment by Lisa Forman on June 12, 2009 at 9:07pm

I'd be interested in what people have learned to control their hypernesss, impulsivity, anxiety and mental exhaustion.

the coaches I've talked to address outside organization when I am interested in organizing my mind and letting go of irrelevant thoughts. Also, it would be great to have a social coach cause I am realizing that I am actually an intervert with a huge inferiority complex, mainly now cause I am 8 in a 45 yrs. body with no experience with intimacy and relationships.

Shit, I cannot even imagine dating.

Peace out

Lisa

Comment by Lizard (aka, Butthead) on June 12, 2009 at 2:10pm

Good idea for a group! I like my pyscologist pretty much as far as helping me out, he is more like a coach to me then someone that digs into these deep mental issues. I have been with him like a year now. I started seeing him because I thought I was having a break down (realized it was a cancerous brain tumor later). We worked on techniques to help me remember things and appts. He taught me some things about controlling my hyperness and anxiety that really worked and he helped me understand that medication management along with therapy was OK for me and that I needed to stop being resistant. He also helped me deal with medical doctors who at first thought I was just ADHD hyper and had anxiety, they thought a lot of my sypmtomswere related to this and were over looking the true issue. It took me having a grand mal siezure for them to find my golf ball size tumor in my frontal lobe, this guy just knew I was not crazy and encouraged me to pursue the issues with a nuerologist (who later apologized to me for not scanning my brain earliear). My physc also has ADD, which can be interesting at times, but I also see he is like me and a "normal" person like me!

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