ADDers in Counseling / Therapy

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Comment by DANA on June 11, 2009 at 4:35pm

LIsa, if you signed a HIPPA form with your therapist then that should protect you from having confidential information exposed to family members. The therapist overstepped his professional boundaries by sharing personal and confidential information to your family. There are special laws in place to protect you, the patient, and this therapist could possibly have negative consequences, due to his lack maintaining confidentiality.

Have you joined a local ADHD group? Perhaps, a local CHADD group or meet up group for ADDers will have some resources to share with you?
That is how I initially found my ADHD professional 12 years ago who evaluated me and diagnosed me.

Comment by Lisa Forman on June 11, 2009 at 12:59am

Several months ago, I stopped seeing my therapist cause of two things. 1) We just perpetuated our ADHD; talking cyclicly and cutting each other off 2) He exposed confidential information to my family when it was off limits.

Now I've been checking out new therapists. 1) somatic - to tell with overwhelm, being in my body 2) cognitive theraptist, CBT, looking at thoughts, etc

The are so different and both important. I need to practice them both everyday, not just once a week. I'm confused cause I haven't found a therapist that specializes in ADHD.

Organization is an issue; and it is really organization of my thoughts, social stuff liking not getting a conversation, zoning out and then talking like a monologue.

Maybe I should get a book on social interactions and relationshiips. Thats the hardest thing, having few close friends, pissing people off, being misunderstood as rude or not listening, when all I want is to be part of.

Finally after 44 years of isolation I want to participate. Stuff it challenging and painful to deal with and learn skills (social) that I was supposed to pick up as a kid.

Comment by Mssphoto on June 1, 2009 at 3:43pm

That is great to hear. People do not realize that it some times takes a few different dr's until you click and you should never feel that you are tied to just one. The first one I saw I had no clue what she was trying to do for me. The 2nd "Bingo" and have been for two years now and would not have been able to get through so mush I have gine through without her.

Comment by Clarissa Kelly on June 1, 2009 at 3:35pm

Hi ladies (and gents),
Just started seeing a psychologist, she is really good and focuses on ADD in adults, so she totally "gets me."

I saw another such therapist prior to this one, and she wasn't for me, felt it from the moment I met her.

Oh, she knew what she was doing, had about 1000 books in her office (showing off?) but we didn't click. What really bugged me was that on our first visit she was late getting started (doing something in her garden, as the office was in her home), then as SOON as the session was over, practically shoved me out the door, saying she had to make an important phone call. I was going to ask to use her bathroom, but had to leave! :(

Anyway, my newest therapist is fantastic, and even though she has been late ALL 3 TIMES we've met, she is always apologetic and stays longer to make up for it, always gives me her undivided attention. Not that I like waiting, want to scream and jump up and down watching the clock actually! Maybe its part of her evalutaion to see if I am ADD???? ;)

Poor Dana, that is really beyond belief with that therapist. I mean, 50 minutes? Then he didn't let you finish? YUCK! I am lukcy, live in a larger city, have several therapists here that seem to know about AD/HD. I have had therapists in the past, almost always had to try 3 or 4 before finding a good fit. But they do exist!! I am sure you would find a good one if you kept looking!

Sally, yours sounded like "fun" though would have been a better friend than therapist. Glad you learned a lot from both of them. I think that after 2 visits it's okay to move on if it doesn't feel comfortable. I want them to seem knowledgable, but not smug or condesending. I want them to be down to earth but not too casual. I also need them to really listen, not give me too much psychobabble, and act sympathetic if I tell them things that really hurt me (some of them just sit there when you cry, say nothing, what is up with that??).

Thanks for reading my 2cents about this topic. XXX
Clarissa

Comment by DANA on June 1, 2009 at 1:24pm

Sally, I think that is a good idea that you give yourself two visits with a new therapist before deciding whether it is a good fit or not. As for me, I had attempted therapy twice this year, but both times, neither therapist was a good fit.

The first therapist literally was 50 minutes LATE for our first appointment. Eventually, the therapist showed up right when I was ready to leave. He suggested that I stay for the counseling visit so I went into his office. After 10-15 minutes of discussing my ADHD concerns, the therapist interrupted me and told me that he had another appointment waiting. He literally sent me on my way so he did not have to keep his next patient waiting. (Unbelievable!!!)

After this negative experience, I contacted the office manager to complain about the therapist only spending 10-15 minutes with me, due to HIS tardiness. She claimed that she would reimburse me the $20 co-pay. Ironically, it took four months, until I finally had to contact her and remind her of the reimbursement that she never paid me.

I went to a second therapist and it was a very negative visit. The therapist appeared CLUELESS about ADHD. He had the nerve to complain that I am too impulsive and not able to focus! (DAH!)

The end result is that I never pursued another therapist. The time, the money, the energy, the headaches and the major frustration is not worth it! For now, I am dealing with my issues on my own.

Comment by Sally on May 29, 2009 at 8:27pm

I haven't seen a therapist for about a year and a have because I moved but the last one I had was also ADHD and her son was too. I loved her to death we were the same age and we both have BIG personalities as she would describe me but there were also some negatives. She drove me crazy because of her ADHD. She would set her alarm and when it ran she would run out the door so she could put more money in the parking meter. Many times I gave her ideas to solve that problem and she listened but it took her a year to take care of it. She also answered her phone every time it rang and EVERY time I was there she would excuse herself to go to the bathroom during our session. Well, you know how distracting all of that was I would totally loose my train of thought and so would she. During the few minutes we had she would do cogtnitive therapy and she had some good stratagies. She was also very honest with me and I could ask her anything . At the time my daughter and I were butting heads and she was very good at reminding me that I was the mother not the child and she would role play with me to help me handle up coming situations which helped alot. She has been the only therapist I've had with ADHD and she was great except for her ADHD behavior.:) No, I take that back I had another therapist that was ADHD and also her daughter and grandchild. How did I forget about her, she was so great and you would not have known she was ADHD and an alcoholic who had been in AA for 11 years. She taught me how to take responsibility for my own actions and that is something I will work on the rest of my life. Not many people do that and it is so hard to do. I feel so fortunate that I was able to learn that. I was going thru my divorse at the time which took 6 years and my goal was to only be responsible for myself and come out of it with dignity and respect for myself and I DID IT! I never pointed a finger at my ex and I won my case. I've had so many theapists in my life and some were good some bad and some just okay. Now I don't waste time with a bad one. I will go to two appts. and decide if I like them and if I don't I'm out the door. I'm never rude always honest with them and don't hesitate to question anything they say to me. I never could do that until I learned how. YEA for me!

Comment by DistractedByShinyThings on May 12, 2009 at 8:33am

Sorry I haven't been around for awhile. Been . . . well . . . distracted. lol

Comment by DistractedByShinyThings on April 22, 2009 at 7:05am

Good luck, Teresa! Hope it goes well!

Comment by Teresa J. Kirby on April 22, 2009 at 1:15am

Hi - I have not logged on in lately; I have been traveling the last few months. Just before my last trip my doctor that I meet with every two months to discuss my meds suggested I begin seeing the counselor in the same office. As it turns out, my first appointment is tomorrow at 3pm. I intend on disclosing my ADD as well as how it has caused problems for me throughout my life. On the bright side, the more I understand ADD, the better I have been able to live life on lifes terms.
So...wish me luck tomorrow with my first counseling session :).

Comment by Joshua Alexander, MBA on April 7, 2009 at 11:29pm

I haven't been in counseling since I was 13 years old. I haven't been on medication since I was 21. I found that military and paramilitary groups that I spent the majority of my life in before going to college was the biggest help. The structured environment of the military and in law enforcement led me to be able to harness the abilities we have pretty good. Most people notice that I am little more active than most but that's about it. I'm sure counseling can't hurt though. I just can't seem to find the time. I would have to schedule it in with all the other things going on in my head.

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