ADDers in Counseling / Therapy

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Comment by bec1124 on April 5, 2009 at 9:38pm

Thank you Ashvina,
I wish I could harness that hyperfocus thing, too. Unfortunately, it manisfests itself in computer games! If I could only use it for reading, but as much as I love reading, it is very difficult for me, which made school very difficult, too. And creativity? I have a bit, I like to write, but it's hard to concentrate very long on it, and tried painting once, but I'm a long ways from being good at it! I'm not great at much!

I dream of the structure you describe, but am in no way living it!

I agree, I have to figure out what is keeping me from doing the things I have to do. No matter what time I plan to leave, I usually leave about the time I'm supposed to be there! And each day, I think I'm right on track for leaving on time! I am going to look into getting some help. I just heard of a group in my city, who does all kinds of therapy, including coaching. I hope it isn't too much $$ because I can't afford too much right now!

Comment by Ashvina on April 5, 2009 at 8:51pm

boy do i know what you mean. most people i talk to tend to just glaze over, and try giving you a life plan, and a way to live your life in an organised manner. no-one seems to get that ADD is something that is either inherent, or stems from some form of developmental trauma. and that UNDERSTANDING how it all works gives your the power to navigate your life.

u know bec, i really feel that if i can harness the creative up-turns of my days, i could make life brilliant - because my 'hyperfocus' zones in on the wrong things (like shoelaces, or cleaning my bathroom) and i get OCD about them.

i feel like if i had another half of me that helped me go according to plan, i'd be more a part of this world. i feel like i cannot at all be surrounded by a less than secure environment, because i need the structure to function. but i'd say, while you have to cope on your own, you should focus on that positive side - find out what's stopping you from doing it - like you said.

there's a lot of pent up frustration and hurt behind most ADDers stories, and letting some of it go could help you function better to start with.

what do you think would be cathartic to you? best of luck, and hang in there hun.

Comment by bec1124 on April 5, 2009 at 3:30pm

Thank you all for your comments. I do agree that I need to see a counselor or a psychologist. I'm with Steven, I don't want someone to tell me how to improve, I need someone to delve in and help me find out what is keeping me from doing it. If someone tells me what to do, and I can't get myself to do it, it will just make me feel worse! And that's not productive. I do toy with trying to find another doctor, but I've been to 4 in this area. The first didn't really keep up on the latest information, so I would go in and tell her what I wanted. She would only make me come in about 4 times a year, and just kept calling in prescriptions for me (or for the ADD meds, she'd write out 3 separate scripts for the 3 months before I could come back: she trusted me, and I got my meds, but she retired! I went to a 2nd one who thought I was addicted to anti-anxiety meds, but kept writing Rx's for them, and she didn't know I was just stock-piling them for later. I was not addicted, and she was very insulting. The 3rd is the doctor I'm going to now, and the 4th is the doctor I take my son to. I'm not sure that they take a lot of time to listen, and they aren't the warmest group, but I might be able to go there. It's hard to find a doctor/counselor/psycologist that you can trust!

Comment by Steven Charles on April 5, 2009 at 1:56pm

I understand & share Bec's experiences, it seems at Kaiser, they are not very concerned with any real therapy, just checking to see if you're not strung out or having bad side-effects from the meds...

And DBSThings, I can relate to your experience completely, as well. However, I'm at a point, where I can't really imagine what someone simply talking to me could possibly do to change my behavior.

I know full well what's going on, and even how to improve, I just can't seem to actually do it. I could coach/manage anyone else, but I think for me, any approach that lies solely in the verbal/conceptual, either rolls right off my back, or just adds more "stuff" to an already overloaded brain....

More information is about the last thing my current situation calls for.... if that makes any sense.

Comment by Ashvina on April 5, 2009 at 9:01am

bec, that really doesn't sound right. even if it was just behavioural in their view, surely they could address it... maybe you need to see a counselor/psychologist as well. that way, you could address both angles of your condition. OR just swap to someone more wholistic. frankly the whole tone of your current doctor's conduct makes me feel uncomfortable.

Comment by DistractedByShinyThings on April 5, 2009 at 8:28am

bec1124, I'm still new in my learning about ADD, but from what I understand, medication can only do so much (i.e. improve focus but not what you focus on), and that the rest is behavioral - re-learning, developing new habits, etc. I agree with Bryan wholeheartedly when he recommends Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (see the discussion "Excellent Group!" above). If you find a good CBT therapist who lists ADD as one of his or her specialties, it can do wonders. A CBT therapist will likely also talk about self esteem issues with you also (mine does, anyway) that often are a problem for ADDers after years of feeling that we just can't do things "right" and, in many cases, receiving a lot of criticism from others as well. I think that looking at the whole person and the ways ADD has affected the person's life makes it more possible to help the person grow and move forward.

I don't know anything about coaching, but that could be another very good option for learning new ways to do things.

Re disorganization and messy house, I have the same problems (I also have a problem with being late), and over the years (not knowing I had ADD until just a few months ago), my inability to "get it together" has become more and more of an ingrained issue for me, so that now it has snowballed into something bigger than simply "clean it up". It's become overwhelming. It has become something I judge myself and beat myself up over. It has led to me isolating myself because I'm too ashamed to let anyone come over. That is one of the ways therapy is helping me so much, by giving me the chance to deal with all the fallout as well as the original problem.

Lee - Glad you had a productive session! My last one was very productive, as well. It takes time to build trust to the point that the best work can be done. :-)

Comment by bec1124 on April 5, 2009 at 1:19am

Does anyone else have this problem? I go to a psychiatrist's office, but I'm seen by a PA, or something like that. I am on Vyvanse, and it does help, but I go time after time and tell them I still struggle with disorganization, a messy house, and being late everywhere I go. They always dismiss it, saying, "Oh, that's behavioral." I actually have panic attacks because I'm afraid I'll be late. I told that to the man I see, and he said, "well, it's too bad that you're having panic attacks, but at least you're concerned about being late!" When you see a doctor for ADD, shouldn't he be treating you for ADD symptoms?

Comment by Andrea Ohl on April 3, 2009 at 3:47pm

hey lee, hope you had a good productive visit with your counselor. where would we be without them. i know i would be lost. i wonder if their is a national "counselors day", to show our appreciation. maybe i'll start my own, see, my crative mind at work. gotta love it.

Comment by Steven Charles on April 3, 2009 at 2:25pm

I think I'm similar, but in reverse... My anxiety & depression, as far as I can tell, stem from all that I don't get done, due to my ADD. So, it's hard dealing with those, until I manage my ADD more effectively, thus the "Groundhog Day"-like vicious circle I find myself getting dizzy (& depressed & anxious, & numb) behind.

Comment by Andrea Ohl on April 3, 2009 at 1:40pm

same as charlie girl, i am dealing with anxiety and depression first, then hoping to address the ADD.

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