why can't he understand how his ADHD, affects my ADD....

[Melissa Raines]

My partner Jeremy & I have been together in 8 yrs , he has suffered from ADHD all of his life and has never been understood by his family . I have been ADD all my life but thankfully grew up with a family that was very loving and understanding. The problem my partner and I have is the fact that he doesn't understand how is ADHD affects my ADD . My partner has a real problem with time , he's late for everything it wouldn't matter if he had ten clocks in fron of him he would still be late to what ever is going on . Jeremy gets very distracted very easly , I'm completely the oppposit but get seriously irritated when I have to stop what I am doing to help him with his task. The other main issue we have is that Jeremy's hobbies tend to take over and consume his time , leaving very little time for us as a couple . The other real big issue that we have is , the fact that Jeremy gets easly frustrated with me , when I try to help him with something , he then gets extremely bossy and that gets me irriatated because i am trying to help and give advice and he's not being receptive to me & trusting me . We have a hard time completeing projects together because Jeremy becomes very difficult to work with.

[Joshua Alexander, MBA]

"The other real big issue that we have is , the fact that Jeremy gets easly frustrated with me , when I try to help him with something , he then gets extremely bossy and that gets me irriatated because i am trying to help and give advice and he's not being receptive to me & trusting me ."

Sounds to me like you both are a little bossy. However, that probably is the ADHD you both have. I'm sure those of us with non-ADHD spouses probably control just about as much as we can. Basically both of you are trying to be in charge with too many chiefs with no indians. As far as completing projects and being on time that is something we all struggle with. It took me years to get disciplined enough to be able to control my time. My wife doesn't understand how I'm able to concentrate on 100 things at once because she doesn't have ADHD. Sometimes I wish she did so she could understand how little things can disrupt our attention. Sounds to me like you should read your concept of ADHD to each other as some of us have different types. That could be a misunderstanding issue instead of just blanket disregard.
Joshua Alexander

[Mssphoto]

Hi there,
Sounds silmilar to my case..I have been with my partner for 10 years and I have ADD and she does not have either ADD or ADHD. She wants to read books to learn how to handle or understand ADD (which is a joke because the person that wrote the book does not have ADD/ADHD or a partner with it. We did go to a support group the other night and I liked it but, she was lost. It was great to sit around with other ADD/ADHD people and discuss real problems that each of us were having. My partner was like how do all understand each other. I said this is my life and that is it. You can not be taught, you can learn to accept..My folks and family do not believe I have ADD either so have not been understanding. I was 48 when I found out and have a conselor that has helped me with the meds and how to use this new talent. as I call it..But all I hear at home is that I have not changed.
If he does not want to go to groups conseling or any groups you go for yourself....Good luck!

[ronald Sorenson]

it reads as though the both of you are trying to be the cheif it takes the stronger of the two to be the indian and let life and love be the boss.

Peace, have the best weekend in your life and make them all better than the last...................