For some reason I didn't see your comment on my video until today. I don’t' think trying a way for him to fit into a group where he doesn't feel good about himself is a good idea. Maybe getting him involved in a martial arts class with kids his age might be a good idea, or another type of group with something he enjoys and might be a little good at. It's a self esteem issue and a feeling he doesn't belong, especially concerning ADHD. There is no quick fix to this and explaining ADHD in a technical sense to him, probably won't work and he probably won't understand the differences.
EMDR is the best thing since Ben & Jerry's. How many times have you done it? Have you ever had a hard time "getting into" it. Sometimes my therapist will stop everything and say, "What were your thoughts?". Sometimes, I have no thoughts, or NOTHING that has to do wih what we are working on. Last time we did EMDR, I told her, "I was thinking about the cob web I noticed on the way in." Somehow, she pulled a thought out after that. The stuff is weird, but really does work.
Does your ss have a lot going on with him? Kids today have to deal with way too much for their young minds!
Hi Cat,
I have been meaning to send you a hello note..."Hello". I am wondering if you had to seek help to get over the abuse you suffered by your parents? I too went through a lot of issues...and still do :) It is pretty evident that we all can relate in some way.
you will hear from a lot more people soon, they tend to be busy around here on weekends. It is hard for me to give any advice, I can only tell you situations in my own household that happen. Some we skate through, others smack me up side the head and floor me. Maybe it is different for me because I have major ADHD (very adult hyper) and my one diagnosed kid is ADD innattentive, my undiagnosed kid is too much like me, but in a happy go lucky way and she is very sweet, but in trouble for being a little jokster all the time.
I have found in my own household that consistency is the key with my oldest, I make rules and stick to them no matter how mad or frustrated they make both of us. Give an ADHD'er too much leeway with rules that have to be there, they take a mile.
I have found my kids do best when I lay things out short and concise, with not many surprises, so they don't get blindsided too much! On the flip side, I bite my tongue a lot, til it bleeds at times, to just try to listen to them and pick out what really is the issue. I talk about really important things when my meds are full on board and at a time of day the kids are not rushed or stressed. I ALWAYS remember to never say anything bad about them, that is personal, I try to attack the problem and not them, ADD kids are sensitive for the most part and hard on themselves, they have plenty of adults and others telling them how screwed up they are, they need a solid support system, someone in their corner for the right reasons and that does not always mean making the popular decisions.
I personally have learned to say I am sorry to them if I let my ADHD get in the way, I used to have a temper and they would observe it and it was not towards them, but it freaked them out anyway, I have apologized for that behavior and told them it is not right and I see a head doc for it, well that is one of many issues I am changing.
Good luck with it all and I hope you can be an advocate for the boy!
Hi Cat, wonderful to have you and welcome to our ADDer World! I think it is fabulous that you would like to share in and learn more about ADHD for the same of your new stepson :)
Bryan
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For some reason I didn't see your comment on my video until today. I don’t' think trying a way for him to fit into a group where he doesn't feel good about himself is a good idea. Maybe getting him involved in a martial arts class with kids his age might be a good idea, or another type of group with something he enjoys and might be a little good at. It's a self esteem issue and a feeling he doesn't belong, especially concerning ADHD. There is no quick fix to this and explaining ADHD in a technical sense to him, probably won't work and he probably won't understand the differences.
Does your ss have a lot going on with him? Kids today have to deal with way too much for their young minds!
I have been meaning to send you a hello note..."Hello". I am wondering if you had to seek help to get over the abuse you suffered by your parents? I too went through a lot of issues...and still do :) It is pretty evident that we all can relate in some way.
How old is your step son? When is the big day?
And welcome to the site.
I have found in my own household that consistency is the key with my oldest, I make rules and stick to them no matter how mad or frustrated they make both of us. Give an ADHD'er too much leeway with rules that have to be there, they take a mile.
I have found my kids do best when I lay things out short and concise, with not many surprises, so they don't get blindsided too much! On the flip side, I bite my tongue a lot, til it bleeds at times, to just try to listen to them and pick out what really is the issue. I talk about really important things when my meds are full on board and at a time of day the kids are not rushed or stressed. I ALWAYS remember to never say anything bad about them, that is personal, I try to attack the problem and not them, ADD kids are sensitive for the most part and hard on themselves, they have plenty of adults and others telling them how screwed up they are, they need a solid support system, someone in their corner for the right reasons and that does not always mean making the popular decisions.
I personally have learned to say I am sorry to them if I let my ADHD get in the way, I used to have a temper and they would observe it and it was not towards them, but it freaked them out anyway, I have apologized for that behavior and told them it is not right and I see a head doc for it, well that is one of many issues I am changing.
Good luck with it all and I hope you can be an advocate for the boy!
Bryan