Breakthrough?!

[CopperzMuze]

Call it what you will, lol. Shane came home from work last night and we talked. He stated that he started to do some research himself and did some reading. He told me I was right. (I'm sorry, can he repeat those words, I hardly hear them, lol.) He said that what he had been reading was totally us as a married couple, he said he couldn't believe it. He also told me he was afraid. I asked him why and he said that he had read a lot of angry posts by spouses that ended up divorcing their spouse who had ADD/ADHD. I asked him if he was afraid that I was wanting or thinking about leaving him and he said that he was afraid to lose me. I told him that our situation was not completely his fault. There are things that I have to work on also, i.e. not being so controlling. I take responsibility for my actions and needed him to understand this. This was why I had told him the previous night that this was a team effort and that we needed to do something now instead of later. We cannot bring children into our home until we have things straightened out and on the same path with us. It's just not healthy for our future children to not work on issues now. I am glad that he did take it upon himself to start to do some research and have some realizations. Does it suck that it took for him to read something on the internet to finally "get it"? A little bit because I felt like he wasn't listening to me, but I wouldn't exactly listen to me if I was yelling at me and constantly nagging.

[Sally]

Foregive me if I am coming across as a no it all I don't mean it that way. I think because I am older and have gone thru so much counceling and trauma I want to share everything I know to help you. This isn't easy. I will be honest with you, I have been divorced twice before I was diagnoised and can look back and see ADHD written on the walls. Alot of the people in this group are either divorced or going thru a divorce but it doesn't have to happen to you. I don't know if you know this , you mentioned having children in the future. ADHD is hereditary but that doesn't mean all children get it. My daughter is not ADHD thank you God but you never know. So just as you said it's all about team work and looking at it as a life time of learning new stratagies. My motto is PRACTICE MAKES PROGRESS there is no perfect and there no ending to the work you have to do to make it work but YOU WILL DO IT:) You go girl!