ME: Meeting with Clinician went well but was generally a interview, no testing done. They would like his
school to perform the comprehensive psychological testing.
Special ED: We hire a school psychologist to do testing and then I do the academics testing.
This is a part of the RTI process, Liz, when ultimately determining the need for special education services.
My hopes were that, with medicine, he would experience the ability to focus and learn, and then he would
not need special education services (once he caught up academically). We can continue with the process,
within the next few weeks I will send you a permission to test form, and then I will schedule the testing
which will probably happen in October. In the meantime, let's discuss a behavior plan for him to help him
in the classroom.
(My thoughts on this: Meeting with his teacher and Spec. Ed teacher, his teacher said he was fine academically it was just his behavior that needed work. I do agree that he needs help
with focus. So behavior is his main teacher's objective and Special Ed's main objective is medication for focus. What is an RTI process?)
Any suggestions for a in class behavior plan would be great. Just let me know what I can do or information
you need. I have been trying at home and it was working during the summer but has since gone awry
since school started, and his behavior seems to be getting worse at home. I explained about everything
going on and how long it has been going on. I mentioned the disruptive behavior problems in class and
gave her his report cards to note the comments from his teachers also. She also made copies of the
Connors' Reports, and I come to find out I need to bring them back to his pediatrician. She asked (my boy)
and I many questions and (my boy) was great.
I asked his dad to go with us today and he expressed his views to her.
(This basically consisted of how when he was a boy and so on, mainly about himself.
Therapist got a good look into his psych. When I was asked why we were there, I mentioned
first and foremost to help my son and the rest here. <-My view of it was not in email)
Once they have the psychological results, they will go from there to start off. I am a bit disappointed and
confused too, as I expected the testing, etc. to be done today and a plan to start on. But they informed me
that usually the school will initiate it and they can follow up from there, to determine what is going on with
She stated, "well let's make sure if it's neurological or something else or a combination, and with the
school results they can move forward from there." I wish I knew that they wanted this before hand.
Hopefully soon everyone will be on the same page, I know you, (his teacher) and I are as to what's going
on with (my son). I left a message with them to call me back. Thank you so much & talk with you soon
(FYI I am parent helper in class tomorrow)
Special ED: Liz -- I guess I'm confused -- was this appointment a pediatrician? His pediatrician is the
one who can make the diagnosis. The school's psychologist and teachers, etc. are not doctors, so we can
only tell them what "characteristics" he possesses, e.g., (he) displays the characteristics of a boy with
attention issues, etc. We can't make a diagnosis. That's why we always tell the parents to START with the
pediatrician -- the pediatrician can make a diagnosis, and then medicine can be attempted, and then if
characteristics continue, then we can go with our psychologist's tests -- again, can't make diagnosis.
So, it was my hopes that his behaviors would be controlled by medicine, and then we would not have to
go further with testing
(and he could start to exhibit good behaviors (focusing, impulse control, etc.) in the class. I know you're
confused -- I'm confused, too. Talk to me tomorrow about the doctor's visit (sounds more like a therapist?)
-- for her to say something like, let's make sure it's not neurological? We can't determine that --
only a doctor can. Thank you for all your dedication to his education! We'll work through this!
Thanks! (Special ED)
(My thoughts on this: I would think if she knew all this she might have mentioned it to me
before hand. But I think she thought I would go to his doctor and demand he be put
immediately on medication. HA! At least she admits she isn't a Doctor. And I don't know if she remembers that these characteristics of my son have been there since he started school
there for the past three years, but seemed to have gotten worse with this teacher.
ME: I did start with his pediatrician. This was a therapist that he referred us to and she did mention
making sure it wasn't a neurological problem. He also he told me they would evaluate him and make a
determination as to what specifically is going on with him. I will call his Ped. and see when I can drop
off the Connor's to him or make another appt. for him which ever is necessary. From what I am perceiving
now, they want all the facts before they make any sort of diagnosis before recommending a treatment, whether behavioral or medication. In which I am pretty certain he would benefit from both types of treatment.
See you tomorrow ~ G'nite
~End on email tag ~
The next day I was a parent volunteer in which I signed up for once a month, I may just pop in on Monday and offer my "services" again. I observed my son, the class and the teachers. My son was basically bored, couldn't or wouldn't do his classwork and we ended up taking it home to complete. (I made copies of worksheets and graded papers and checked off different worksheets by which student names on a list) The class in my opinion seems haphazardly
run, but it was test friday and she had I think four different groups testing.
(she has about 15 - 4th & 6 - 5th graders with two tests each)
I also noted that when she gives instructions to the "groups" she expects them all to stop
what they are doing and listen without a "attention please" or anything??? Then she speaks VERY FAST, giving at least 4-5 tasks to be done.
(I couldn't even understand or get it all, much less have to write it down in a planner)
She makes lists on the board which I asked her about and she said "the things
with stars are "graded work", some is classwork, and some is homework."
I only saw the Asst. teacher once personally help one student with work and
the "main teacher" not at all.
I understand it was test day so that is why I want to help/observe on Monday :)
Anyway ~ I've spoken to different mom's at the soccer practices and it seems there are a lot
of children with different "special needs" going to this school. Two in my son's class, one
has dyslexia and the other AD/HD not treated. Even my son's soccer Coach informed me "he
has a lot of "higher learning" students and it was no problem for him" when I mentioned
to him about my son and his yet to be AD/HD. Coach is really great with the kids.
It was a hectic and stressful week with every other day meltdowns from my son. Hubby is in his what I call "manic-downer moods" and has been doing his passive/aggressive emotional abuse. He'll either not talk to me or blast the TV really loud. When he does talk to me it's about how I can just do what I want with our son. I have no support from him as what ever I do is being mean and not letting him be a kid. He has no idea! Yes I am venting now :)
One thing he did mention to the therapist and it has been a repeated conversation regarding our son is that he wants him to show respect and be responsible. Yesterday our son wanted a new video game and I had a few conversations with him about how would you like to earn money toward it? Well he agreed to doing something and we were all set to try it out this coming week where he would get a allowance for chores, amt and chores agreed to already. Well his dad decided on his own to tell him, "No you don't have to do that, here is the money." I heard this all this morning as I was waking up and decided to wait to see how this turns out. Turns out while I am constructing the desk I bought for my son, hubby walks by and says "we are going out to get a game he wants." I told hubby I know. Son tells me, "well you didn't want to buy it." They go and come back, while son is out of the room I asked hubby, "I thought you wanted him to learn responsibility?" He ignores me of course and walks away.
Am I being too hard? Too OCD about everything? I begin to question myself again.
Later I tell my son, "Yes, I could have just bought you the game, but I was hoping to teach you responsibility and value of working for things you want, and I thought that is what your father wanted too." He tells me, "I will when I grow up and go to work." (Something verbatim from his dad) This would be fine, if son didn't have a compulsion to get what he wants NOW every single time, and won't stop talking about it until you get it for him. (Another thing I got blamed for by "giving into son" when he was a toddler.) This was also a lesson on delayed gratification but I don't think either son or hubby would get it.
It is hard enough dealing with my son and his emotions and everything, without being sabotaged in the process by my hubby. Hubby just has to be the "good guy" and do nothing because he doesn't see any problems. He isn't concerned about him except when it affects him personally.
Yes we have problems and I'm airing the laundry. :)