I find it interesting that most adults at some point in their life try to figure out "who they are", "what makes them do the things they do, act the way they do". I am one of those. I have always asked myself those same questions, in one way or another. I never really knew there would be some sort of an answer for me.
Years before now, I had always joked with myself and my family that I was ADD. Never really knowing the true meaning, symptoms, etc. of ADD. It wasn't until a little over a year ago that I started doing real research and information seeking about being ADD. Immediately I felt as though I was reading my life story, as if this information was speaking to me as if it knew me personally. I didn't tell anyone about it at first because I figured my parents would just dismiss what I think, as usual, saying that I was looking for an excuse of some kind. I didn't tell my husband because I didn't want to feel like I was looking for an excuse for my behavior.
I even made myself wonder if it could really be true that I may be ADD. I never seemed to think too much of some of my behaviors until I did my information seeking, so maybe I was just putting all of this together in some manor where I was trying to give myself this as an excuse. Or searching for a logical reason to be excused.
Whatever the case, I finally did say something to my husband once I felt I had done enough reading to convince him it could be true. Still I felt crazy for telling him. I seeked a doctor and tried to talk to him about it. I was about to enter college, again. As I have done several times, each time being less and less able to focus on my studies. I have been finding much harder to focus on anything in the last five-ish years. I have the most horrible memory you have ever seen! So anyways, seeked this doctor, talked to him. He didn't have much to say but gave me a prescription anyways for something that made me feel "cracked out", I guess you could say. I did have a better ability to focus on uninteresting things, I felt more 'tuned in'. But I wouldn't be able to sleep, I sleep poorly to begin with...I don't need this too!
Anyways, I gave the medicine up, told myself I was crazy and I didn't have ADD. Or maybe I do, but I will be okay without the medicine or any kind of help.
Fast forward a year and I find myself starting a different school with a new purpose and it is very intense in this school. Well to me anyways. I am barely able to keep up with four classes and some people are taking 8!! (Are they NUTS!?) Over the first month I can tell that I am getting more anxious about things, more panicky. I figured out that there is a school counselor on staff that I could see for free! Ha, free counseling, my dream! I love talking my problems out, maybe this will help!
Since then, I have seen the counselor twice so far. Each time we met, within the first 10 minutes of talking / conversing with her she has asked me if I have ever been diagnosed with ADD. Well no, never "officially diagnosed", but since you bring it up. I have been wondering this myself and she sees it too... she tells me she (can't say for sure because she is not someone who can diagnose) believes I am definitely ADD. She then begins asking me more questions about myself, my habits and different things and with each word I say she shakes her head more in agreeance.
Since our last session on Friday I have done a lot more research, reading, information seeking about ADD. It seems things are starting to unfold for me, I am starting to really 'see' this has been affecting me. I finally spoke to my mother about my concerns and what me and the counselor have been discussing. She has slowly clued me in on what I was like when I was younger since I don't remember a stinking thing.
I have also come across this website, which has become a regular source of information for me since. Filled with information and inspiration dripping from every page, I love it! I don't have the attention span to read it all sometimes, but I do my best! I am so excited to learn more from Brian and everyone on this site, as well as finding ways for myself to 'come out of my shell' <--- (for a lack of a better term right now)!!