Not much to say, but my heart is breaking

[Margaret]

A good friend of mine (M) has 3 step children who live with her and their dad (D).

Her sdaughter (C) was diagnosed with a rare and nasty type of brain cancer in Feb 2011 (age 12 at the time). C spent about 6 months getting a combination of radiation and chemo, and it was incredibly ugly. However she had been doing well until this fall, when she started having occasional odd things happen - written off to effects of radiation or chemo.(Ostrich theory was good here, because after her initial treatment, there was nothing more that could be done - it was an all or nothing sort of thing, and they knew this going in). However, they finally couldn't explain away what was happening, so C had an MRI a few weeks ago. The cancer is back, and it is bad. They gave her a few more weeks, a  month at the most. She is currently 14 years old.

I have no words of comfort for my friend. I don't know what to say. I try to be cheerful, and let her vent when she needs to. She is having to have discussions with her daughter about things we would never even consider - her daughter has told her that she is ready to die, and wishes it would just happen now, and why does she have to wait? She is not afraid to die. She knows they will all miss her, but she knows that they will be fine. She just wants to go.

I have seen a lot of children die, just by virtue of what I do. However, this one is personal, and I am having a really hard time with it.

Thanks for listening.

[doug puryear]

margaret,

sorry.  it is hard. prayers for you and them.

may God bless us all

doug

[Leslie Rouder]

My prayers and thoughts are with you, Margaret. 

[Bryan Hutchinson]

I'm so sorry, Margaret. God bless.

[Margaret]

She died this morning. I still have no words.

[Leslie Rouder]

I totally agree with both Doug and Michelle.  No words can help when facing such a loss.  There are so many things in life that are beyond our "small mind's" ability to understand.   Do what brings you peace and comfort so that you can replenish yourself through this difficult time, while being present to your friend, as she goes through the many phases of grief along with you.  

[MichelleR]

I am so sorry for you and your friend & family :'(  That brave young woman, to be ready to let go.  There is no words to wash away your friend's sorrow, but there is always the comfort of loving arms and silent tears shared.

[doug puryear]

margaret

there are no words of comfort.  most efforts at them just make things worse - if possible.  being there is the thing.

best wishes

doug