Physciatric Therapy and ADHD

[Bryan Hutchinson]

I have been in a lot of battles in my life, some were life threatening, some were tug of wars with myself for things I simply did not understand and some were just me trying to be confrontational with, well, me, myself and I.

ADHD can suck so bad that nothing else matters, it leads to a life of constant struggle, going nowhere, unless backwards is a place you want to go. When an adult discovers s/he has ADHD I think it is natural to want to find treatment to improve the symptoms, to counter them as soon as possible. The quickest way to do that is with medication, the more profound and life enhancing way, I believe, is through professional physciatric therapy to actually go in and take stock of what we are thinking and why. The suddenly new possibilities of living an improved, aware life are the brightest ‘ohh shiny’ of all, but can also be the most damning.

If you’re anything like I was, and I am not saying you are, then negativity from a life of constant challenges, constant failures and constant ‘hopes and dreams going down the toilet’ can get in the way of the bright new ‘ohh shiny’ promise of treating ADHD and getting on with an improved life.

Many people write me asking how I have improved and gained a positive outlook on life. I explain how therapy has helped me overcome my own internal demons and gain a better foothold on life itself. Then, of course, I recommend my book “One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir” if they want the whole picture and if they want to feel what I felt and go through it with me on my journey. Their questions are a major reason it is in print. However, in short, I do give a brief description of the process that led me forward. Many write back saying they have tried therapy but it was useless because the therapist didn't seem to be addressing their ADHD issues.

I always recommend seeking a trained professional therapist, because, that’s just not me, I am not a therapist and I can only share my experiences and thoughts about those experiences, so naturally this is just my input from a survivors view.

The reason I recommend such therapy is not because it will address the symptoms of ADHD right away. No, that’s a common misperception. When diagnosed as an adult with ADHD it is quite common for there to be a whole set of thoughts we have created which are self-defeating in nature. I think it is nearly impossible to treat the symptoms of ADHD first, in this respect.

Many of us just don’t get the ‘denial’ factor many of us deal with internally. If I can just get these symptoms under control, then I will think about myself in a more positive light. Well, maybe, but if we understand why we are thinking the way we are and learn to forgive ourselves for our past mistakes and supposed blunders of rational, this provides a more fertile ground for dealing with the symptoms and traits of ADHD. Leading the horse by the cart is what we naturally want to do when dealing with Adult ADHD.

Actually, by taking on the symptoms and traits of ADHD itself first we then are not dealing with the problems that may cause us to regress, if left unattended and then quite naturally are often blamed on ADHD. That’s the part which most of us find hard to accept, because we want to improve today! Hey, it’s part of ADHD to be impatient, no reason to let that upset us, but if we admit it, the chances for improvement become far more optimistic.

Giving up on therapy because the therapist seems to not be addressing ADHD symptoms, is usually because one just hasn’t realized yet what therapy is trying to, or needs to, accomplish first. Some therapists explain the process they use first and I think that’s helpful to us ADDers. Many therapists will prescribe medication to help deal with the ADHD symptoms, they realize the eagerness and utmost necessity to get the symptoms and traits under control, but the medication is not the cure and therapy isn’t either; however, therapy provides a balance and way for one to have a clearer understanding of themselves and get past the self-defeating habits which are enabling ADHD to have a greater impact than necessary and those self-defeating habits may not be ADHD, but rather a bi-product and those bi-products, if unaddressed, will continue to have power and may be disguised as ADHD themselves. And the circle goes unbroken.

It is not uncommon to feel more depressed or negative once therapy has started going somewhere. Once we start looking into ourselves and realize what has been holding us back in addition to ADHD, it’s quite natural to get disheartened by those discoveries.

Not all therapists are created equal, it is important to know if the therapist is a specialist when dealing with ADHD. It’s also important to feel comfortable with the therapist, once one gets to talking and revealing things the trust and chemistry between patient and therapist become vital for success. If one detects a certain opinionated tone, one might want to consider what that tone is. Doctors and therapists are people to and some lean in certain directions with their personal opinions which sometimes can become obvious. Radical opinions for or against, are not what I would consider ideal or helpful. A cool head that can see both sides of most situations rationally is more of an ideal person I would want to be handling my situation.

As I have written many times before, I think I was lucky that ADHD wasn't the initial diagnosis and that depression was. Had I been diagnosed with ADHD, I might have ignored the rest to my own detriment and perhaps even blamed the rest on ADHD, which would be natural and partially correct, but being correct to place blame doesn't help either. Treatment helps. Not being diagnosed with ADHD first enabled me to not be distracted by it, if that makes sense... Just my opinions on how therapy may help us and why some do not feel they are being helped by such treatment since it often doesn't seem to address ADHD symptoms directly and often brings to the surface painful and distressing thoughts and emotions. Talk to your therapist about medication to help deal with the symptoms along with the therapy, that may help, but remember discuss any medication or supplements with your doctor, I am only sharing what has helped me and why I believe it was effective and helped me as much as it has.

~Bryan

[Bryan Hutchinson]

Dana... that was not very professional of that particular therapist, obviously. Thankfully I never had that type of experience with a therapist, although it did take visiting 3 or 4 therapists first before I found the right one for me...

[Dana Arcuri]

Miss K, you brought up a very good point in saying that there may be times in which we could find ourselves with a therapist that is not the best choice for us. Yes, I totally agree that it does happen, at least it has with me.

For instance, in the beginning of this year, one of my new years resolutions was to actively seek a therapist to help me with ADHD. I found a therapist through my health insurance and I scheduled the appointment. On the day of the appointment, I shocked myself by arriving early to fill out all of the paperwork and insurance information.

Once I completed the information, I looked at my watch to realize that the therapist must be falling behind schedule. I sat patiently in the office and read a magazine to pass the time. While I was reading the magazine, the secretary walked over to me and said, "I just wanted to inform you that Dr. Forgetful left for lunch right when you arrived and he never returned. I tried to page him, but he is not responding. Would you like to wait a little while longer?"

I bit surprised that the therapist would leave right when I arrived, I decided to wait for 15 minutes, which is truly NOT like me! To make a long story short, Dr. Forgetful eventually called as I was walking towards the door to leave.

The secretary called out to me to inquire if I would be willing to wait 5 more minutes. Typically, I would not have, but I sincerely wanted to meet with the therapist to begin managing my ADHD better. Therefore, I kindly waited for Mr. Forgetful to arrive, which ended up being longer.

After being 45 minutes late for his appointment with me, Mr. Forgetful decides to show up at the office and we went into his private office for our appointment. He made up some ridiculous story on why he was late and then he began asking me some questions.

For about 15 minutes we discussed my ADHD and challenges. Then Dr. Forgetful interrupted me to say, "I do not want to make my next client wait so I will have to reschedule another appointment with you."

Surprised at his rude and unprofessional behavior, I was speechless! This jerk just made me wait an entire 45 minutes for him and then he only spends a lousy 15 minutes with me??? I bet my medical insurance company will not be happy paying the full price for a ripped off visit!

The lesson learned was to always follow your instincts. I NEVER should have waited longer for the therapist. I should have told the secretary to NOT bill my insurance company since the therapist never showed up! I should have complained immediately to the office manager.

Trust me, folks, this was all Prozac......Thank God for Prozac! Or else......I most certainly would have not been as patient, understanding and kind to wait an extra 45 minutes for a nutcase! After returning home to think through the situation using a clear mind, I did decide to contact the office manager to complain about the unprofessional and inappropriate behavior of Mr. Forgetful.

I may have been extremely patient and kind, but at least I followed through and requested that the manager pay me back the co-pay for my WASTED visit, as well as to NOT charge my medical insurance company for the office visit that was one waste of my time.

LIVE & LEARN!

[Bryan Hutchinson]

Oh Cathrynn, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I can only imagine your loss. Blessings. I don't want to be a further downer, but those who don't believe ADHD exists can cause havoc in our lives if they get 'stuck' on improving us. Just be aware and ask him to read some personal life experience stories, that may help.

Keep on keeping on Melissa! You can't clone me, but I did write a couple books and write a blog :-) ... just say'n! lol

Miss K - YES!

Riri, I have been there too. You know that. That's another very good point about therapy that you bring up. Being the ADDers that we are, and even for some non-ADDers, I am sure, is that the therapist isn't there to provide the answers, but rather guide us with questions for us to answer ourselves, to bring out of us what they know is there. Therapy knows it can't convince us of anything, the only person we are ever going to believe is ourselves and therefore the therapist will guide us and that takes time as they plant a suggestion, with a question here and there. And, you are a good person!

[Riri]

I went to a psychologist a couple of years ago to find out why I suffered from recurring depression, or was it even depression. At that time, I was already in my third episode, all of which were so bad, severe; I even googled to find some options for committing suicide.

It was not a therapy, but more like a consultation. I had about 8 session, but after the third, I got bored already. The diagnosis didn't seem to come out; the psychologist kept asking me questions, and most of the time I was the one doing the talking. I felt as if it was not going anywhere and started to doubt if it was ever useful, that it would heal me and made me feel better. The first thing I had in mind before I took counselling was that after the third meeting and taking the psychology tests, I could already find the source of the depression, get the cure, and live happily ever after. But the process turned out to be more complicated than I thought.

At the end of the session, the psychologists still couldn't completely figure out the source of my depression (my ADD was off course undetected). I also honestly told her that there wasn't anything new about her 'discoveries' throughout the sessions. I was feeling better, but it was not because of the counselling, but simply because I naturally got better. As mysterious as it came, my depression usually faded away after about one month or so without me knowing why.

Anyway, she did point out some important thing that I didn't realise: that I had many ambitions, but have achieved none. I was taken about and got a bit upset, but then I realised that she was oh so true. She also tried hard to convince me that I wasn't lazy, but I wasn't convinced enough.

However, even though the attempt of having a psychology treatment was not as I expected, I still wish that someday I could have a good coach, therapist, or whatever to help me improve. I am still desperately trying to be a good person.

[Miss K]

Great post...your points about what to expect from therapy are spot on. Indeed, it is a process, not an overnight "fix". And I always remind friends of something else that you mentioned...rapport with your therapist is soooooo important. One never has to just "take" a therapist that isn't working for them. I had a woman that I never went back to as a therapist because she started arguing with me about my feelings...uhhh...still can't believe that a therapist was sitting there telling me what my feelings were and weren't...unbelieveable!

Another thing to remember, if you are thinking you're not happy with your therapist...do you not like them for a particular reason, like that you feel like they are judging you...or do you not like them because they are challenging you to grow? Heehee...sometimes when you think for a second, you realize "oh...I'm annoyed because I don't like dealing with these feelings, not because my therapist is a bad therapist!". But...sometimes you just have a crappy therapist, lol...

I decided to try meds this year and when they asked me if I wanted to try therapy also, I insisted YES. If I'm going to change my brain chemicals, I sure as heck want to know that I have someone to bounce my new reality off of! And you're right, the meds just can't fix everything...they only create the conditions for us to grow beyond our present selves, they don't make the magic happen on their own.....

[Melissa Raines]

wow !!! as always Bryan you write some of the most inspirational blogs . I wish I could clone you and have you be fellowship my husband for a day on his ADHD and get him to understand what a wonderfully gifted person he is and that god had a reason for him being ADHD .

[Cathrynn]

inspiring, Bryan...........diagnosed very late in life myself - and though I have had tragedies, looking back on my life, despite terrible schooling etc etc and lots of failures in allsorts - I have to say, I have had a spectacularly 'interesting' and 'shiny' life most of the time. My husband who coped amazingly for years died nearly six years ago, a new partner is struggling, having not really grasped the ADD tag - thinks it doesnt exist and I could improve. Little does he know...lol....(((hugs))) Cathrynn