RETHINK THE CHAOTIC HOLIDAY SEASON.....

[DANA]

After writing a new blog for the ADHD & MARRIED GROUP, I decided to post the same blog for everyone on ADDer World. Men may have the "fringe benefit" of having a helpful wife or girlfriend to take on holiday responsibilities and duties, but I wanted to address both males & females as well as both single adults and married adults. I sure hope that this is helpful for you!

Today, it is officially two months, until CHRISTMAS! If you are Jewish, Hanukkah begins at sundown on December 11th and begins in 52 days!

If you celebrate holidays, now is the time to prepare because the holiday season is just around the corner! If you are an ADDer like me, you sincerely want to send out your X-Mas cards on time, but somehow, year after year, you barely finished addressing each card to discover that you are falling behind schedule, again!

Do you dread the holidays? Do you find yourself overwhelmed because the approaching holidays are stressful and there is so much to accomplish? Do you wish that you had a magic wand to instantly take care of your Christmas shopping, baking and wrapping? If ONLY the holiday season were that simple!

If the holiday season has you feeling more DISTRESSED than joyful, here is a step by step guide to make your holiday season shine bright:

1) MAKE A LIST AND CHECK IT MORE THAN TWICE: Before November begins, force yourself to sit down to make a logical and simple list of the top priorities for the approaching holiday season.

2) Have one list called THANKSGIVING and the other list called CHRISTMAS or HANUKKAH.

3) BEGINNING WITH THANKSGIVING: Plan on how you are going to celebrate this holiday. For example, are you planning on cooking a Thanksgiving dinner at your home or will you be spending Thanksgiving with family or friends?

4) CHRISTMAS/HANUKKAH LIST: Always consider your budget BEFORE planning! Do not allow yourself to go on an impulsive shopping spree or overspend what you can not afford. Before November, begin writing a logical list of your top priorities for Christmas/Hanukkah. Less is best!

5) SHOPPING IDEA'S: Consider what method of shopping will provide the LEAST amount of time, thought, expense and energy? For example, if shopping over the internet is easier and less stressful, rather then standing in long lines at the local mall, write 2-3 websites on your list to order X-Mas gifts.

6) SHIPPING & HANDLING: Due to the holiday season, you will need to consider the time involved with shipping and handling to be sure that your friends and family receive their gifts on time. All ordering online or over the telephone should be completed before December 1st to stay on task. TIP: WRITE THIS ON PAPER & POST IT TO YOUR BEDROOM MIRROR OR WALL FOR A DAILY REMINDER!

7) VERY IMPORTANT: What expectations do you have of yourself or others this holiday season ? If you need someones assistance in staying organized then be upfront, tactful and open about your needs in advance. Do not be afraid to ask for help or put off discussing important issues involving the approaching holidays.

8) DELEGATE BEFORE THE HOLIDAYS: If you have children, teenagers or grown adult children, consider recruiting them to pitch in and help with the preparations and clean up! Also, if you are planning on spending the holidays with a relatives, delegate responsibilities so LESS stress is placed solely on you or your kids!

9) HOLIDAY RECRUITING TIP: The MORE help you have in advance + LESS stress = A MUCH merrier holiday!

10) THE DREADED CHRISTMAS CARDS: Be realistic when it comes to Christmas cards. Here is a guideline for consideration.

A) DO NOT SEND CHRISTMAS CARDS THIS YEAR. I am not kidding......If this truly takes a huge amount of pressure, frustration, anger and stress off of your shoulder, I personally think that with the state of the economy, you may be able to get away with skipping this over-rated holiday tradition! Hey, if nothing else, blame it on the poor economy!

B) ONLY SEND CHRISTMAS CARDS TO IMPORTANT PEOPLE. If the pressure to send X-Mas cards is very intense, consider sending cards to the MOST important people, such as your boss, your in-laws, your best friend and your far away cousin who is alone for the holidays. Keep your list to a minimum of 5-10 individuals and stick to this list!

C) LIMIT CHRISTMAS CARD LIST: Instead of going overboard and sending out 25 to 55 Christmas cards, limit your list to only 20. Cut back on your list by spending time being extremely honest, realistic and by using good common sense. For example, is it really necessary to send a Christmas card to your neighbors? For crying out loud, they live next door to you and you practically run into them every single day! Also, is it truly that important to send a Christmas card to your first grade teacher who you have not spoken to or seen for over 20 years?

11) THE HOLIDAY SCROOGE: By now, I may sound like a rotten scrooge, but the truth of the matter is that I LOVE the holidays, especially Christmas! Yet, I know that ADHD is a serious issue that must be recognized to BEST manage the hectic, fast pace of the holiday season!

12) BAKING CHRISTMAS COOKIES/DESSERTS: Baking can be much fun, but it takes much time, energy, money, concentration, ability to follow directions and the ability to juggle many tasks at one time. Keeping that in mind, determine if you want to bake Christmas cookies/desserts, write a short list of which items to make and highlight the necessary ingredients that must be purchased BEFORE baking.

If baking stresses you out, like it does to me, consider these options:

A) DO NOT BAKE THIS YEAR. (Once again, blame it on the poor economy!)

B) ONLY BAKE A MINIMUM OF 2-3 TYPES OF DESSERTS OR COOKIES. Baking LESS will take the stress, pressure and expense off the actual job and this may help you enjoy it more!

C) RECRUIT HELPERS! Do your teenage neighbor girls love to bake? Consider asking them to help you bake. You will not only be teaching them a valuable skill, but you will promote socialization and the holiday spirit! ("FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA LA LAAAAA!")

D) GO TO THE BAKERY: Save time, sanity and energy by simply purchasing Christmas cookies or desserts at a local bakery, Sam's Club or a discount grocery store. Whether they are homemade or store bought, everyone loves desserts!

13) WRAPPING HOLIDAY GIFTS: This is one task that can make or break your holiday season! Trust me, I learned the hard way by procrastinating and I had to stay up way too late on Christmas Eve to finish the ENDLESS chore of gift wrapping! (GRRRRR!)

One helpful hint is to RECRUIT for gift wrapping! My 14 year old daughter loves to wrap gifts and I guarantee you, I will be delegating some of the gift wrapping to her! Another idea is to purchase holiday gift bags with tissue paper in advance. Using colorful holiday bags is a quick and festive way to package a gift!

14) HOLIDAY GIFT WRAP TIP: Instead of spending hours in front of the TV watching your favorite shows, plan on wrapping gifts at the same time. If multi-tasking challenges you, wrap gifts during the commercials. The sooner you get the wrapping completed, the sooner you can BEGIN TO ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS!

LASTLY, DO NOT GET OVERWHELMED WITH THIS HOLIDAY LIST. INSTEAD, TAKE "BABY STEPS", CHOOSE ONE STEP TO FOCUS ON AND BEGIN THE TASK, UNTIL YOU COMPLETE IT.

TURN ON YOUR FAVORITE CHRISTMAS MUSIC AND GET INTO THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT! TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME.......AND REMEMBER.......HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS & A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

[DANA]

Michelle and all others interested in learning how to crochet or learn a new craft, check into your local craft shop, yarn shop, Joanne's Fabric or Michale's Craft Shop because they offer plenty of interesting and fun classes for a wide variety of interests. Call to find out what the schedule is and what time they have specific classes. Usually, the fee is not too expensive and it is an enjoyable way to meet new individuals!

[Michelle MacGregor]

Dana, it is awesome! I love it....other than the the suppliers, it is all handmade stuff!

The ADD problem I run in to with knitting is if I encounter a problem with a pattern, then I set it aside and if I don't find an anser right away then I take a really long time to get back to it! Thanks for the nod...love to knit - it is very calming. I can kind of crotech but I only ever learned to chain...I need to get a book. My mom taught me how to do both when I was about 12 and the knitting came more naturally so when I went to reteach myself it was the knitting I took up, but I would love to learn how to crochet..maybe I will get the stitch n bitch ladie's crochet book the happy hooker!

[DANA]

You are one talented female, Michelle! Wow! I am impressed! I have tried knitting and crocheting with my mom, but I never could pay attention long enough to complete it. My mother has made beautiful scarves, too, and I love them! A few years ago, my mom crocheted me a cute purple purse to match a purple outfit that I was planning to wear to my girlfriends wedding.

Thanks for sharing etsy.com! I never heard of it so I will have to check it out!

[Michelle MacGregor]

I made scarves for my mother in law and sister in law last year. They were not complicated, but they were made of beautiful yarn...baby alpaca...so nice and one used super big needles and was a faux rib or something, so it was so quick to knit! So fun to knit too!

I also take photographs and hand color them and print and frame them...

Oh, and for online hand made shopping etsy.com is priceless! Seriously last year I got this awesome ring for my sister in law's birthday hand made in france and it was unique and was only $40..delivered in this super cool box - wrapped for opening....and there is EVERYTHING on etsy...you can even search geographically to find people near you to ship quickly.

[DANA]

Michelle & Clarissa, I LOVE all of your idea's, suggestions and everything that you shared about how you SIMPLIFY the holidays!

For years, I had struggled with trying to keep up with the "expected" traditions during the holidays, but for the past few years I have actively simplified my life. I ONLY agree to get involved with festive activities, traditions and celebrations that I am absolutely positive that I can manage. I have had to learn to become much more assertive in saying, "No" or else I would be utterly exhausted from "over extending" myself.

Clarissa, I enjoy going to Holiday Bizarres and craft shows to purchase those "one of a kind" homemade gifts that may have more of a sentimental value. The one holiday tradition that I started over 15 years ago is to buy each of my three kids and husband a homemade ornament for the Christmas tree. I prefer purchasing ornaments that remind me of each individual.

For instance, my 18 year old son love playing the guitar so one year I purchased him a homemade craft that was a cool looking guitar. Of course, he really liked it because it is something he relates to! What has become very fun for me and my kids is to decorate our Christmas tree together because it is like going down memory lane with each ornament that we place onto the tree. My kids faces still light up as they recall the memory of first receiving their homemade Christmas decoration!

Michelle, what a fantastic idea to make homemade fudge to give to family and friends for Christmas! I am a HUGE fan of homemade fudge and I would be happy to receive it as a gift! It is the homemade Christmas presents, such as a homemade scarf, earrings, candle, wooden figurine, Christmas cookies, nut bread or handmade pillows that make the BEST gifts of all! Knowing that someone had spent many hours to prepare and make this gift makes it all the more special to me!

The holidays are more enjoyable and exciting when there is LESS work, LESS chaos, less running around, less materialism and MUCH MORE time to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas!

[Michelle MacGregor]

I love to make fudge....save or buy cheap tins at goodwill and make in one enourmous batch and give out as gifts. Also, I use refridgerator fudge - the kind with marshmallows because it is no fail, easy and who is going to refuse to eat fudge (or ask if it is awful refridgerator fudge???), which it is not anyway...you can also do it in wax paper and those pretty little fabric bags with ribbons - oh, or like white chocolate and either chocolate or peppermint pieces...what is it called, like tiger bark or something - also totally easy! Super easy and fast and high reward because people like it!

[Clarissa Kelly]

ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!!!

I am soooooo into downsizing my Xmas duties and spending these days. I am into SIMPLIFYING my life lately and am not going to go along with the normal Holiday fuss anymore just because everyone else does! I mean, how many people (er, women) end up HAPPY and BLISSED OUT over the Holidays???? Maybe the kids??

My best ideas:

XMAS CARDS: I am only sending to my nearest and dearest, the rest of my friends/extended family will get NEW YEAR'S cards in January! I will buy some blank winter-themed cards and write letters in Jan. when there is nothing else going on. Many Europeans do this and when I lived over there I liked getting cards in January! It was a nice surprise and I actually had the time to read and enjoy the sentiments.

GIFTS: I am totally downsizing this, giving to about 6 people, that's it. I only have one child in my home so it is easier to set limits, but I still have to convince the extended family to NOT exchange with us anymore (except for our son).

LESS IS MORE: Yep, it always is! I am doing 1/3 less of everything this year as my new Holiday Rule. One-Third less decor, less baking, less functions and events to go to, and 1/3 less frivolity. More time to relax, read to my son, watch old movies, etc.

SHOPPING: I agree with the idea of online shopping to reduce stress (I do PLENTY of this to keep my ADD symptoms at bay). However there are many other ways around the shopping frenzy that will actually add to my holiday pleasure. I plan to shop as LOCALLY as I can for gifts, spending time at Holiday Bazaars and local SMALL shops instead of the crowded malls or mega-stores. And I get the satisfaction of buying from a local shop-owner and I love getting the personal interaction from small shop staff. HOWEVER, if I do go to the big stores I go during the off hours. I mean, going to Target after dinner is a sure way to be able to shop when others are not. And I won't go on weekends! And never right near Christmas!

GIFT CERTIFICATES/CARDS: I plan to get them for a few people which is super-easy and will ensure that the giftee won't have to sit in Return Lines after the holidays. Local Bookstores often do Gift Certificates, as do Local Restaurants and Shops, if you ask them! We don't always have to use the mega-stores for that sort of thing. Though I am impartial to a Michael's Crafts gift card!

GIFT COUPONS: Many people have interests that could turn into a handmade Gift Coupon from you. You could make a coupon for a task you will do for them (babysitting, car washing, etc.), an event you will take them to, or for an amount they can spend at a shop that doesn't have the Gift cards. For instance, my son loves going to a local Hot Wheels shop which sells new and used stuff. I will give him a HANDMADE COUPON for a certain amount which he can then spend the next time he is in there. I know he'll love that and I won't even have to go out to get it! ;)

BAKING: Yes, to less! I pared down my variety last year and had much more fun! I used to make 6-8 different things to share with family/neighbors/colleagues, but it was almost like torture! Now I'll make 2 standbys (sugar cut-outs and peanut butter blossoms) and then one NEW thing each year. That way I get to try new recipes but not frustrate myself!

So, I really DO plan to be a Holiday Scrooge, but I plan to enjoy it more! And hopefully my actions will encourage others to cut back on the time/expense/stress, too. I think that non-Adders need permission to do this too, and we ADDERS can be the angels who light the way. ;)

[Michelle MacGregor]

Dana, for me, these things are so simple...becayse as an ADDer I have sent Christmas cards out exactly ONE time in my entire adult life. Likewise, I have cooked or baked for others as gifts probably three times totaly my who life! I try to make up for the apparent laziness by buying gifts when I see them throughout the year and giving people their gifts right away...this way your friends will never know when to expect the perfect gift!

Oh, and I love the holidays too, but I say do whatever you love to do and never no what you think "EVERYONE" expects you to do....because for us ADDers, we will probably not be able to do that anyway.