SPIRALING INTO CONTROL

[Bryan Hutchinson]

Hey everyone! I am posting an article by Dr. Nancy Irwin. When I read the article it reminded me of what I used to do a lot (totally guilty) and, from time to time, still do, but, I have learned to control it and I get better results thanks to my 'follow' through. This article isn't that long; however, the message is very clear and direct (just like I need it sometimes) with more meaning than many articles much longer.

SPIRALING INTO CONTROL
By Dr. Nancy B. Irwin

Most of us feel that things are spiraling out of control from time to time. Life certainly throws challenges at us. What if it were possible to spiral into control?

Imagine if everything you do, think, feel carries into the next action, thought, feeling that you experience? What if everything were an endless circle rather than linear, with a fixed beginning and end, as most of us see it?

We all know there is a before, during, and after phase of most processes. There is a beginning, a middle, and an end. What if we began to see these phases as preparation, execution, and follow-through? How we release (follow-through) can directly affect the preparation phase of the next process we take on.

Athletes know this. How you follow-through on one shot directly affects subsequent ones. The golfers who throw their clubs down and swear at the ball after a shot are ruining the follow-through (and actually, mysteriously, the execution of the ball they just drove!), as well as the next shot. Those golfers, who extend the same positive energy through that crucial follow-through phase, improve. It’s a cumulative effect….a never-ending cycle. Do you want it to be helpful or hurtful?

How you follow-through on a job interview directly affects the interview you just left as well as all subsequent ones. Some interviewees walk out of a prospective boss’s office reviewing how well they handled some of the questions, what skill sets they might need to strengthen, etc. Some walk out with thoughts like “Who am I kidding? I was an idiot in there….he’d never hire me. I suck at interviews.” That attitude and negative energy sets you up perfectly to “blow” the next interview. If you have a positive follow-through, you have a more positive preparation period, and hence a more productive execution next time.

How you walk away from an unhealthy relationship directly affects all your subsequent ones. When your mate breaks up with you, do you make that mean “Love never works out for me. Women…you just can’t trust ‘em. It ALWAYS ends like this!” While you certainly have a right to feel upset/hurt/rejected/disappointed, honor those feelings, discharge them in a healthy manner (without blaming the entire opposite gender of our species), focus on what you’ve learned from this relationship, and let the pain go. That will lead you directly in preparing for the next relationship with more personal power.

How you walk out of an audition directly affects all of your subsequent ones. You can focus on the fact that you met a new casting director, got a chance to perform (albeit for free!), on refining your audition skills, networking with your peers, and more - - - all of which can feed into your next auditions.

It ain’t over when it’s over. The fat lady never stops singing! Allow that music (your “Inner Fat Lady”!) to carry you forward in that never-ending spiral of growth and learning in all areas of your life.

While there are many things out of our control, our response to any circumstance is well within our control. As Viktor Frankl states in Man’s Search for Meaning, “…everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

Spiral up!
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So, what did you think of Nancy's message? Can you relate? Personally, as an ADDer, I think we (my past experience) have a natural way of reacting with a bad follow through. It's not necessarily our fault, its just that we are so used to things going the wrong way and after a while, we fall into the trap of negative thinking, beliefs and, I know from personal experiences, can lead to depression.

For more information about Dr. Nancy Irwin visit her website: www.drnancyirwin.com

Special Suprise coming in the future!! Nancy is generously sending me a copy of her book YOU TURN, autographed for a future ADDer World giveaway... one of you will be winning her book :-) In a future giveaway contest! www.makeayou-turn.com

[Sally]

Darnit, Bryan I try to practice this all of the time and look at it as not perfecting it just knowing it is something I will work on the rest of my life and I am pretty worn out not getting good results. Someone mentioned the Secret the other day so I bought the book and realized I try and live this process but it's not working. I think I am making it to hard for myself trying to do it just like they explain and then find out later I am doing it wrong. I am not one to give up but I need some positive experiences now. I keep hanging in there and say something great will come my way just to keep me moving and I'm about to give up. I try to be awhere of my negative thinking and turn it around right then and WHAM there I am again under the bus. Bryan I have gotten to the point almost that I have lost my motovation to keep trying and I know that's the worst thing I can do. It's called depression! I have been working with my doctor making changes here and there with my medications and you know that's a never ending process. Sorry for putting a bad spin on everything today it's just one of those days. Thanks for listening:)